How I Ended Up This Way's Blog

{July 9, 2010}   A great beginning…and the beginnng of the end

I was never the type of girl that HAD to have a boyfriend. As a matter of fact, my longest relationship during high school lasted 3 weeks. And that was my choice. I had more important things do focus on in high school, like basketball. I wasn’t your typical high school girl. I didn’t get jealous, I didn’t throw tantrums when things didn’t go my way and I avoided your typical high school drama like the black plague. My best friends were always guys. I could trust them more in everyway. And I could relate to them so much more than most of the girls in my high school. This is not to say that I didn’t have friends that were girls. Or even a best girlfriend. I did have a very close girlfriend that I trusted and trust 100% to this day. But, in general terms, the guys out here in the country didn’t try to “steal” the guy you liked, didn’t spread rumors that were not true or just bad mouth you because they felt like it. At least, my guy friends didn’t. This is why, when I met my soon to be husband my Senior year in high school, I didn’t anticipate it would go any farther than my three week run. However, after the three weeks or so and I was ready to cut ties (this was normal for me. Due to a horrible childhood, I cut guys loose before they could hurt me) he would not let me break it off with him. He pleaded, told me how much he loved me and that he would not let me push him away. No one had ever told me this. Of course, it just scared me that much more. So after about the third time of trying to get rid of him, I realized I was already in love with him and I would have to face the inevitable and just give into it. We were married a year and a half later.

When you are nineteen and planning your future, picturing what it’s going to be like, it is the rare case indeed that the future you perceive actually becomes a reality. Especially when you are planning a future that involves marriage at such a young age. My case was no different. We did manage to have to good marriage for about sixteen years. Of course, we had ups and downs, but never considered being without the other person. For a while, I had been blessed to live out my dreams. All I ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom to my kids and wife to my husband. I know that may sound primitive, but it’s the truth. But just a few years later, I found my life turned completely upside down. My husband was walking out the door, leaving me to be a single mom to our three kids. Sure, he paid (and still pays) child support, but it takes more than child support to raise kids. The man that I had spent 16 good years with, had simply changed almost the moment he walked out the door. He became this cold, insensitive and selfish man. The type I was always so proud that he was NOT. Yet, here he was, standing in front of me being the type of man I never expected him to be. And I hated him so much for this change in his attitude…….

More to follow later 🙂 Peace……



MM says:

hey girl, I love you and I think that there are a lot of people who can relate. I hope to hear more about your daily life, issues and how you deal with them!


Thank you so much! I need to plan a set time every day to make a post 🙂 Thanks for your support!!!!

Amy Crowder says:

OH, I don’t think you have to plan a set time…. your a mom with 3 children…and everything else! your BUSY… this site gives us the option to be notified when you blog via e-mail… you just write when u want or it is going to become a chore and get old…..and then you won’t want to write… and we as readers don’t want that…

I totally understand knowing a man (my son’s father) for 4 years and then wake up to someone else one day…..totally relating!!! love-A

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