How I Ended Up This Way's Blog

{August 27, 2010}   Some dreams should just end…..

Hello everyone, welcome.

Have you ever had a re-occurring dream so unsettling that the following day you felt sad, confused, angry and just a little depressed? The impact of the dream makes you question yourself for most of the day. Not quite a nightmare, but just as affective.

I have always had a very active and creative imagination. My dreams were no exception. Crazy dreams that were so amusing I’d have to tell my friends and just laugh. Some dreams I would fight with someone, usually my husband. I’d wake up so angry at him! It always took me a few minutes to think, “am I really mad or am I mad from a dream?”. Sometimes, I dream I’ve had a conversation with someone, and wake up to continue the conversation. I mean, I really have realistic dreams!

However, this particular object in my dreams, I am seriously getting tired of. Once every week or so, I’ll dream of the ex. The situation will vary, but it usually consists of the same basics. Sometimes, it’s starts off with us fighting and ends with him telling me he loves me and wants to get back together. Or most often, we are already back together and things are good, however, it’s always in the sense that we have worked through all the issues and basically found our way back to each other.  Very rarely, I will dream that everything is fine between us, we are friends however, we have both moved on completely. It’s very contradicting and just plain weird.

So, last night, yet another dream. Not one of the angry, fighting dreams that leaves me with just an irritated feeling the next morning. This dream was one filled with loving emotions. I really hate this dream.

I woke up this morning, still reeling from all this emotion I felt during my dream and wondered for the hundredth time, “is God trying to offer some sort of comfort or is the devil just tormenting me?” I know that may sound dramatic, but you have to understand, I don’t just remember these dreams, I feel them as well. And I spend, usually, most of the day trying to work through these conflicting feelings and get back to that center place within me that I have come to know as my comfort zone. The place where I have accepted all the changes in my life and have become comfortable with the life I live now.

After my brother died in 1991, I dreamt of him several times a week for years. Probably six years. During those six years, the dreams did taper off from several times a week to once in a while.

It’s been three and a half years since our separation. I am hoping and praying these dreams do not last near as long as my brother’s. My dreams of my brother always left me feeling comforted. The dreams I am having now, well I am just completely tired and weary from them all.

 I will be happy when these dreams, just come to an end.

 Til next time……Peace



marinasleeps says:

What I do before I sleep is think about something that I like watching or doing … so for the past three days … I dreamt I was on the Bad Girls Club kicking ass and getting drunk. It worked!

LOL….must have been a great dream! Leaves you smiling in the morning! Yea, I have already had another one of those dreams….drives me nuts, but I’m learning to deal with them.

I think it comes from the fact that I like to be in control, and you know, it’s hard to control your dreams! I remember before I wrote this post, I was dreaming that I was dreaming about him. Got that? I was asleep and dreaming I was asleep having this dream! I remember in my dream I was banging on the table “Wake up, wake up” LOL

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