How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{December 20, 2010}   Another Christmas, Happy yet Not Quite Right

 

Hello Everyone. Welcome!

I am sure, if you are a regular reader of my blog, that you knew this blog was due. You probably have wondered whether or not, this is would be the holiday I would not blog about feeling that ping of guilt at having to “share” my children. Well, I’m sad to say, this is not that holiday!

As Christmas is creeping up on us, I am doing basically the same things I have done each and every year. Buying gifts, wrapping both mine and my mother’s gifts for the children as well as anyone else she may have bought a gift for. I have wrapped the gifts for my mom since I was about thirteen years old, including my own. That’s the “thing” I do every year with my mom. Dad, I’m sorry to have to break that bit of information to you this way.

My dad, well, that’s where I get my love for cheesy Christmas movies. Each year, I have to watch all the same Christmas movies the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime Channel continue to show. That is the one thing my dad and I have shared ever since I can remember. It is also the one thing that we love to drive the rest of the house nuts with! And yes, we do watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” each Christmas Eve and end our merriment by watching “A Christmas Story”. How can you not watch “A Christmas Story” when it’s played for a full 24 hours every Christmas Day?

I continue to do all these things and I continue to enjoy them. Yet, this is the third year in which I have had to spend part of the holiday without my children. It’s as if a part of me, has . . . vanished, during the time they are not here celebrating with me, and I just feel as if I’m always a finger tip short of grasping what I am missing. Does that make sense?

Yes, I know divorce happens to many people. Yes, I know people learn to deal with split custody. And yes, I know people do not have children anticipating that, one day, splitting holidays will become normal. I also know, even though my ex takes the children to his mom’s for their Christmas celebration, even though I include him in our Christmas Day celebration every year so that the kids will have us both, one day, this to shall end. One day, this little bit of “family semi-normalcy” we share on Christmas morning will come to an end.

Until that time, I will take comfort in the words spoken by a man I have come to truly admire and strive to take his words to heart.

 

“All major religious traditions carry basically the same message,

that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is

they should be part of our daily lives.”         Dalai Lama

 

Until next time……Peace

A.J.

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As bittersweet the situation may be, you have a handle on the greatest lesson in all of life…the lesson of love. Love and compassion are the easiest things in the world to do, but most folks find it hard to be a smiling, contented wretch at all times.

Have a wonderful Christmas, darlin’! You Rock!



thanks…its not always easy and sometimes i have to bite my tongue…but its not about me…its about what my kids need and desearve, and they desearve to have a goof holiday without feeling as if they have to worry about what this year is gonna be like or whos year it is. that just isnt right.

your such a great friend, and i appreciate your comments. you always are solid when i feel like im stumbling around.

aj



Hey girl great blog.
We have that same issue with my husbands son. I will admit … I am mature enough to share Christmas with his mother. Oh hell no. So he rotates back and forth.



OH, I didn’t say there was a significant other for either of us! I assume,THAT is when the sharing Christmas morning will end! LOL



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