How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{November 1, 2013}   I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

November 1, 2013

I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

Hi everyone, welcome to my world.

Several months back a friend of mine made a comment via a twitter conversation. It went something like this :

Her : “. . . remind me to watch Family Jewels next week, it looks good.”

Me : “Yea, I hope they don’t split up.”

Her : “Well, you cant have your cake and eat it too. Dude, I’ve always wanted to say that! And the one about the cow and the milk.”

For some reason, on that day, it was the funniest thing I had heard in a long time. I knew I had to do this blog. It’s not a “bucket list” it’s more of a “Cliché list”. So, here is my list of some cliques I’ve always wanted to say; at just the right time.

5) It was just gonna lay there . . .

“What? I hit the deer with my truck and got it off the road purdy (yes, purdy) soon after.I didn’t mean to hit it and it was just gonna lay there anyways. DINNER!”

4) A guilty dog . . .

“You know he’s full of shit; a guilty dog barks the loudest!”

3) He’s nuttier . . .

“He’s nuttier than a squirrel’s turd.” (yea, not the best one)

2) Lock . . .

“Lock and Load” (this is of course when carrying an semi automatic rifle.Somehow though, when I say it, I actually hear the voice of David Keith when he said it in U571)

1) Ain’t takin my . . .

“Dumbass (I toned that down for the innocent of hearts) you aint taking my mutha’ fuk’n ass to jail! (only. . . you know, to a cop).

Now, you know this is all said if fun. Personally, I wouldn’t eat a deer; perfectly good road kill or not. And I simply can’t even say the words “nuttier” and “turd” in the same sentence (I’m just too immature not to laugh my ass off at that. Last but not least, when I see a cop, I can only seem to say “yes sir/maam, no sir/maam”.

For years, well his whole life really, my grandfather would answer the telephone the same exact way. Every single time. As a child, it was irritating. As an adult, it was funny. Now, it’s just simply missed. I miss hearing him answer his phone: “It’s your nickel.” (I don’t think he got the whole inflation thing!)

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ

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