How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{January 14, 2014}   What Just Happened?

Hi everyone! I originally posted this back January 2012. As I was reading through some of my old blogs, I read this and two years later, I’m still shaking my head that all of this even happened. I hope you enjoy.

What Just Happened?

Hey everyone, welcome!

I am facing a first in writing this blog and actually several firsts that have occurred over this past weekend. The first in writing, is how exactly do I document to you, with the intensity in which the events occurred, that this actually did happened? I’m still shaking my head at the whole thing. It begins with a call from my friend, Anna, who holds season tickets to the Jacksonville Jaguars. It was their pre-game season opener. Heck yea, I’ll go with. Anything to get out and do something different.

The twenty minute drive was uneventful. That would soon change.

Once we arrived at the stadium, we are walking and chatting it up. All of a sudden Anna grabs me by the hand, and rushes me away from the area. She just caught sight of her ex, the one that was physical with her. We should have just left then. However, we didn’t run into him anymore that night.

We get to our seats to find there are two guys sitting there. So I politely tell them, “Excuse me, hun, I believe your in our seats.” No problem, they got up and left. In a few short minutes, we would wish we had been mistaken about the seats.

This next part, I don’t know how to put it in a conversational matter, so I’m just going to number the events, ok? Good.

1. I spent several minutes and a few different times, stopping my friend from beating the shit out of the old bi…lady that sat behind her in our season tickets seats for the Jags. She’s already got a little trouble she’s dealing with . . . sure don’t need any more. Her hair kept touching the woman’s water. Anna asks me, pleadingly, if she can toss her hair…just to piss off the “water woman”. I was the sober one, so of course, I have to tell her “No, be the bigger person. Besides, she’s old”. Anna then balls her hair up so that it doesn’t hang down. Nice of her, I thought.

By the way, I don’t care how old you are, it doesn’t make it ok to be rude and nasty because you lived this long. Manners, please.

2. While I was keeping an eye on Anna and the old lady, I’m also spending the entire time trying to dodge the guy, married I might add, that holds the season tickets seats down from us. He kept asking if I was going home to bed. I think he meant his bed.

3. Finally, I get fed up with old “water witch” who has been running that mouth constantly, and turned and looked her dead in her eye, to tell her to shut up already (totally against my nature…but you would have gotten sick of her too). Only to be stopped short by the old lady’s friend (a male) telling her to, and I quote, “SHUT THE FU5@ UP! Just SHUT UP!” I turned to him and politely (well, I didn’t curse) told him “thank you for telling her that”. I’d really have hated getting drug out of the stadium for assaulting an old woman over my friend’s hair touching her water. Plus, my mama would have been mad at me. The woman decided to shut up and hold her damn cup of water.

So, we’re back to watching the game. I’m not drinking, I don’t drink anymore. My friend is drinking and getting her’s on pretty quickly. We decide to head back to the cabana (did I mention she has AWESOME seats and even better parking?).

On the way back to the cabana, I’m thinking . . . “I don’t want to have to get into a shouting match with Anna for her keys. She’s a red head, but dang, she can’t walk. I have to get those keys.” So I, awe so sweetly, ask her “Anna, where’s your car keys?” To this she tells me, “they’re safe, got ’em in my pocket.” Again, very sweetly I ask, “May I have them please?”

“Huh?” she said.

“May I have your car keys, please. I’m driving us home.”

“Oh, sure! Here you go.” She hands me the keys. Whew, avoided a throw down with my home girl and having to walk home!

By now, we are back at the cabana. I get her a beer from the bartender, she can’t walk right, when we notice she’s out of cigarettes. Well, damn.

We sit for awhile, there’s not many people in the cabana to bum a cig from. Not even one cute guy to eyeball either. We decide to go on a hunt for some cigs . . . or a guy, whatever comes first . . . (just joking there….but hold on, cuz this bites me in the ass in a minute). This cute guy is walking past us with his cig box out digging for a cig. We ask him for one. He’s completely out and completely wasted. My red headed friend precedes to call this guy . . . “an ass”. Now, you have to know Anna. Calling someone an ass is just an expression. She doesn’t mean it but people that don’t know her don’t know that. Anyway, he was in the same spot we were, standing there with an empty cig box. I took the box from him, showed it to her and said “see, no, really, he’s out too”. Yes, I actually did this.

The next thing out of her mouth is “your cute”. So, now we have a drunk, and by now, we know he’s Army (GO ARMY!!) following us around the parking lot. Envision two drunken fans, and one sober one following them aimlessly . . . just because I didn’t know what the heck they were trying to accomplish and in a minute, she’ll remember she’s looking for cigs anyway.

Having found no cigs and personally tired of looking, we head for the car. I’m thinking, ok, dude’s gonna have to skit (that’s say bye-bye for those above the Mason Dixon line). We find the car. I’m waiting for her to tell him to skit. She wants to take him! OMG! Really? We’re not done with this drunk yet? Now, he was too wasted to do any harm, so we climb in the car, however, I did make her sit up front with me. Fu*& them; makin’ out in the back seat with me as their driver? I think not. Off we go. Now, I’m loving driving this car. It’s a bad ass car! Loved it! We are going to get something to eat and hopefully dump this guy. But first we stop for those precious cigs.

We decide on Chilli’s. Again, the sober leading the drunk into another place. We take a seat, the waiter tells us, “are you going to be drinking?” From back and beside me comes two “yes'” in unison. Damn. He tells us “well, you may want to go to Buffalo Wings (or some shit) because in about two minutes we are having last call and they are open until two.” Of course, we have to go to where the drinks are.

Everyone climbs into the car, me happy to drive it again. It won’t start. It’s midnight. Not on the worst part of town, but the second worst and I’m with two people that would trip on the ground if we had to defend ourselves. Great. I go back in to Chilli’s and ask the cutie (he was like 19 or something) for some jumper cables. Luckily, yes finally a little luck, however short lived. He has jumper cables and gets off in five minutes or so if I want to wait for him. Freakin’ awesome! Found someone who could jump us fairly quickly. As he pulls his car around and I’m standing there talking to him just glad to be speaking to someone sober and not having to constantly repeat myself, the guys he works with yells to him “HEY, it doesn’t take that long to jump a car!” clearly teasing him. I thought what the heck, “tell him that may not be all your jumping”. LOL. Well, I thought it was funny. Not that I was gonna sleep with a boy that looked as young as my daughter.

Great, battery won’t charge; car won’t start. “Yes, Anna . . . the Honda. ” Somehow, she couldn’t believe it was her Honda that wouldn’t start. It never gives her problems. Well, maybe it’s sick of dumb ass in the back seat.

She is friends with God and everybody, so she calls her friend the tow trucker driver, Dwayne. But she won’t shut up about getting some damn nachos! I’m thinking, stay with the car . . . she’s thinking hit up Buffalo Wings and get a drink and those nachos. “He’ll find me” she tells me of Dwayne. Whatever, she has a phone, mine’s dead, so I’m sticking with them. We walk next door, order up some nachos and get them another beer. Once the tow truck driver calls her to tell her he’s at the car, she goes to take care of whatever he needs her there for leaving me with drunk Army man, she took all the cigs so he’s out (again), and now, his shorts are falling down. I say again, freakin awesome.

As dude and I talk, he’s not a bad guy. We actually, as well as one can when the other one is drunk, are talking like friends. He had previously given me his number. Why? I don’t know. Maybe the same reason he tried to give the little guy that tried to jump start the car his number?? He tells me how much he likes my friend but my friend has made it clear she has started a new relationship, however, it’s very new. He’s asking for my advice. I tell him, “look at it like this (and you’ll get the irony of this part soon) nothing comes from a drunken start. Swap numbers, text, call a bit see how it goes. If she still wants the guy she’s with, your a decent guy, I’m sure we all can be friends.”

We are still waiting for Anna to come back, so we go out to the patio where he begins to engage in conversation with a couple, clearly not drunk, about wanting to get with my girl. I just look at them and mouth “I’m sorry” as I try to get his attention away from them. But the girl thinks its funny as hell and is giving him advice, the first piece is to pull up his pants”. Chic was too funny though, I give her that!

Anna’s back. We all climb into the tow truck, them side by side, me sitting between Anna’s legs. The kissing continues however. “So hey Dwayne, how are ya?”

Dwayne is kind enough to drop me off at my house first before taking Anna, the dumb ass, and the car back to Anna’s. I tried to get rid of him several times, telling him he couldn’t go home with her that night letting him believe she had her man at home. She’s sobering up, she can deal with him. I did feel a little bad though, “should I go home with her?” Too late now. Damn, I realize I’m watching Dwayne drive off with my keys in the Honda.

I did worry about her throughout the night. At seven AM she texts me. So I call her. No, they didn’t sleep together. They slept a few hours and she took him to work. Thank goodness that’s done.

Hold up. No, it’s not. I found dude funny and we were chums, so I texted him later that day to see if he got in trouble for being late for work. His reply “I’m sorry but I don’t remember you.” Mine “no doubt! You were so wasted!” And then I begin to let him know, “remember, I’m the friend of the chick you spent the night kissing all over.” We talked about Chilli’s; he remembered that. But couldn’t remember if they did anything.

Uh, AJ, clue #1. “No, all you did was a whole freakin lot of making out!! LOL”

The reply stopped me cold. Yet another first and I hope last. “Good, because this is his wife.” Holy shit. All I could do is say “I’m so sorry. I swear he never said anything and the way he was acting, I had no reason to question him about it. And I was sober, so I know what all happened. I’m so sorry!” I felt like total crap.

She asked me a few questions, I answered them honestly and told her she could call me if she wanted to, I would be honest with her. She did. She sounded so young and just . . . quiet. I reassured her that only kissing happened, even though that’s bad enough. She asked “Neither of you saw a ring on his finger (she was not in the least hateful to me)” I assured her I had not. And I look. Believe me, I look. So, now she knows her husband has been kissing another woman, And I’m the reason she knows this. I feel horrible. Yes, she needed to know, yes she deserved to know, but did it have to be me telling her? Before I know it, I’m comforting this young girl that “doesn’t know if she can work thru this”. I advise her not to make rash decisions. If there is any part of her that wants to make it work, she needs to weigh that against if SHE can put what he’s done behind her. I asked her did he deny it? Has he done it before? No, he fessed right up. No, never before (I’ll just leave that answer at that), plus he wants to quit drinking. Well, that’s a great step.

All the while, I’m telling Anna what a bullet she dodged! She feels horrible as well and thankful things didn’t go further. That was enough to scare her back to the “no drinking” rule. I am thankful for that.

Anyway, my texts with the wife ends with her saying “I’m at softball practice, so we can talk later. Thanks for talkin!” I just don’t know what else to say. I can’t believe all this crap happened in one night; the night I go out. I hardly ever go out! And rarely am I the non drinker. Well, not anymore anyway.

One thing did make all this almost. . . no, it was worth all of it . . . my 15 year old came to me the morning after the game to say “I’m so proud of you. You went out and didn’t let others drinking make you give in to drinking too. I’m so proud of you for not drinking. I just want you to know that.”

Yea, it was worth it.

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ

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