How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{May 21, 2014}   Swingin By

I am not a very emotional person. By emotional, I mean the “lovey-dovey, strawberries and cream” kind of emotion, although I do have my moments. Yet, sometimes I am faced with words I must put to paper. Almost as if the words are slapping me saying “I will win, so you might as well get up and write this story so you can get some sleep.” Yea, sounds like tons of fun, doesn’t it?

So here goes. I literately dreamed this poem. Although, in the dream it was a song, I was surrounded by cowboys that looked like Brett Michaels and Vince Neil . . , all on horseback, doing a reality TV show about “real cowboys”. Seriously. And let me tell you, if you think having a song stuck in your head is bad, try having a song that doesn’t exist stuck in your head. Now that, my friends, is a pain in the arse.                                  

Now that I have left you with the image of Motley Crue’s lead singer on horseback, did I mention the cowboy hats? OH, and “Cowboy Troy” was there as well . . . the only black cowboy I know. Here is the result of my mind’s never ending imagination. It doesn’t always make sense, but at least there are hot guys, huh?

 

                                                         A friend comes when called.

                                             A better friend calls to see how you are.

                              But the greatest of friends, aww . . the greatest of friends

                                                           Swing by – just in case.

 

Thank you all for swingin’ by.

Until Next Time . . . PEACE

AJ

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{November 1, 2013}   I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

November 1, 2013

I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

Hi everyone, welcome to my world.

Several months back a friend of mine made a comment via a twitter conversation. It went something like this :

Her : “. . . remind me to watch Family Jewels next week, it looks good.”

Me : “Yea, I hope they don’t split up.”

Her : “Well, you cant have your cake and eat it too. Dude, I’ve always wanted to say that! And the one about the cow and the milk.”

For some reason, on that day, it was the funniest thing I had heard in a long time. I knew I had to do this blog. It’s not a “bucket list” it’s more of a “Cliché list”. So, here is my list of some cliques I’ve always wanted to say; at just the right time.

5) It was just gonna lay there . . .

“What? I hit the deer with my truck and got it off the road purdy (yes, purdy) soon after.I didn’t mean to hit it and it was just gonna lay there anyways. DINNER!”

4) A guilty dog . . .

“You know he’s full of shit; a guilty dog barks the loudest!”

3) He’s nuttier . . .

“He’s nuttier than a squirrel’s turd.” (yea, not the best one)

2) Lock . . .

“Lock and Load” (this is of course when carrying an semi automatic rifle.Somehow though, when I say it, I actually hear the voice of David Keith when he said it in U571)

1) Ain’t takin my . . .

“Dumbass (I toned that down for the innocent of hearts) you aint taking my mutha’ fuk’n ass to jail! (only. . . you know, to a cop).

Now, you know this is all said if fun. Personally, I wouldn’t eat a deer; perfectly good road kill or not. And I simply can’t even say the words “nuttier” and “turd” in the same sentence (I’m just too immature not to laugh my ass off at that. Last but not least, when I see a cop, I can only seem to say “yes sir/maam, no sir/maam”.

For years, well his whole life really, my grandfather would answer the telephone the same exact way. Every single time. As a child, it was irritating. As an adult, it was funny. Now, it’s just simply missed. I miss hearing him answer his phone: “It’s your nickel.” (I don’t think he got the whole inflation thing!)

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ



{February 6, 2013}   Will I Sleep Tonight After This?

Hey guys! Welcome. It doesn’t take much to entertain me. We all know that. I’ve accepted it, most of you have accepted it. At least I hope you have. If not, I’ll be getting some angry tweets . . . but then again, who cares! I’m joking, of course. OR am I??

Let me first apologize for the funky way this blog looks. Let’s just say, I don’t like when things change! I haven’t been able to take the time (actually the patience) to continually mess with the new format on WordPress so that is pleasing to your beautiful eyes, and I’m . . . well, let’s just say “not happy” about it!

Maybe it’s because some things have recently been settled in my life that have plagued me mentally and physically for what seems like forever, maybe it’s because I’m happier now than I have been in a very long time or maybe, and this is just a guess here, but just maybe my sense of humor really is as warped as I have said many times. Whatever the reason, this story just struck my funny bone and I’m still laughing over it! Did I mention, I’m easily amused and distracted? Oh, I thought so.

These are some ads from the 1950’s, as stated in the article. These are just the top five I felt deserved the honor of being profiled in this collection. Listen, I know the 50’s were a totally different time; I get that. People looked different, they dressed different and cartoon characters looked different. But seriously, these photos really are . . . eye-catching. And they say commercial ads are too “scary” for children today.

          5)  Yea, this makes me want to run right out for some chocolate! :

creepy-children-vintage-50s-ads-chocolate-kid-head-series

           4)  No wonder “Beaver Cleaver” didn’t want to take a bath! :

creepy-children-vintage-50s-ads-pears-zombie-child-bathtub Pears soap

            3)  Who said I wanted to “DYE”??? Well, I certainly don’t want to NOW! :

creepy-children-vintage-50s-ads-dye-cat-bloog-scary dye company

          2)  I’ll just agree with the original caption on this one. The girl, the ONLY kid without an ice

              cream mind you, looks too much like that freaky girl who played in “The Orphan”. But in

              case she sees this, I REPEAT . . . These are not MY words, so don’t come after me to

              teach me “I must be killed to be put out of my pain.” Just asking, please. We good? :

creepy-children-vintage-50s-ads-possessed-girl-ice-cream looks like Ester

          1)  Notice the word “barbiturate” here? Of course, with that Pears’ Soap, the kid probably

               needed this shit! :

creepy-children-vintage-50s-ads-nembutal-black-eyes

Seriously, I wonder if I’ll ever sleep again! One day I’ll learn. “Stay focused and don’t get distracted AJ!!”

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ



{October 30, 2012}   Die Another Day

“Die Another Day”

Hello everyone, welcome!

I have realized I have to get a job. If I am to finish my book(s), I am in the need to of a new personal computer. We all knew this day was coming. It’s been, what, a year and a half since I have been complaining of my old computer? Well, now, that computer has finally crashed completely. Won’t even boot up. Thankfully, I still have my precious iPad given as a gift from a dear friend. However, it is now starting to act “off”. It’s only a matter of time.

So, back on point. I need a job. First things first, it’s been a very long time since I’ve had to update my resume. Everything has changed. Formats are different, verbiage is different, hell, the number of acceptable pages are different! I begin to research the new style of resumes. What’s in? What’s out? Which would work best for me? I had no clue. I found a good site with some great samples I thought would work for my needs. I print out the information and a few samples to use as a guide from the Internet.

I had previously decided the best way to achieve a new and improved resume is not to even pull the old ones out for reference. Once I have my samples organized, I am prepared to begin my resume anew. I get all comfy and settled into a spacious spot and with my samples, other papers and iPad surrounding me I am ready to tackle creating a fantastic new resume.

Ten minutes later, here I sit, in my comfy spot, typing. This blog. Yep, I’ve done it again. Putting off what really needs to be done. But I have a good reason! It may be thing only time I’ve had a good reason, but who’s counting? Shut it!

I have had the flu. You heard me, the summer flu. I have been so tired and exhausted for two weeks. Finally decided to go to the doctor for antibiotics. So, after a few days of those, I am feeling better. However, thinking of using my brain to pull out some magnificent bullshit out of my ass so my resume kicks ass, is just way too exhausting to even think about, much less accomplish. That’s a good reason right?

Regardless, I still have this resume to write. It’s already Monday night so tonight out. It’s already late and the more tired I get, the more I ramble (yes, it gets worse). I certainly don’t want to worry about writing a resume when I’m exhausted. Something about having to put your employment history down knowing others with be judging you one way or the other. Like I would do THAT willingly when I already feel vulnerable due to lack of sleep!

There is Tuesday, but I promised the kids a day out. Wednesday is God’s day. Thursday? No, going to the beach with my niece. Friday is payday . . . allot of running around to do. Saturday? Are you kidding me? It’s Saturday.

I just don’t understand. Wait, what was it I was suppose to do?

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ



{October 29, 2012}   Back To Basics

“Back To Basics”

Hi everyone! Welcome back!! I know, it’s about time right? I know, I have been MIA for what, about a year now? I had some issues I had to deal with and get through. Finally, I truly believe I am at a place where I am not just content but dare I say happy?? I do!! I say it: HAPPY!

So, you all know what that means. Back to the random sometimes crazy thoughts that roam around aimlessly through my mind. I will, eventually, go into what led me to have to take some time off, but for now shall we just have some fun? Yea, that’s my idea of spending a great morning…entertaining you guys!!

I have a friend, well, she began as just another person on twitter wanting to start a blog. However, in the process of our conversations about blogging, etc, she has become a pretty good friend. She’s also has had a little problem with procrastination and getting her blog going consistently. After awhile of me reassuring her “blogging is a decision and you have control of that decision” and “It’s your blog, post when you want to” AND “to have a consistent following, you have to be consistent in your posting”…uh-oh…that hit real close to home.

After realizing the advise I gave her was solid, I had to reexamine my own blogging habits as of late. I’ve not been very dependable have I?

Allyson, my new blogging friend, and I have made a pact. I will get off my ass and post a blog for you every day… well, Monday-Friday like I should and she will get off her ass and well . . . just blog! She’s still finding her voice in the world of blog. But she will get there.

Now, as for you, my faithful followers, thank you for sticking with me. And for doing such, I hereby give you permission, no I request that if I miss a blog . . . go to twitter and let me have it! Seriously, give me all you got! You know you can…nothing stopped you before 🙂 And I dearly love you for that.

I also have a very exciting surprise for you! Well, I think it’s very exciting; you may not really care either way. In an attempt to keep me on my toes, Allyson and I have implemented and will be posted every Wednesday. What is WTF Wednesday. Basically, every Wednesday, I will be surprising Allyson with a completely random topic for that day. Allyson will also be doing the same with me. So, basically, when we wake on Wednesday, neither of us will know what we will be blogging that day! Talk about flying by the seat of your pants! I am very excited by the prospect of having to write an amazing blog without any prior planning. All I can say, is buckle up and hold on tight . . . it’s bound to get a little bumpy!

Be sure to check out my friend Allyson’s site at : http://wouldyoulovemydarkside.wordpress.com .Feel free to blast her on twitter if she misses a day as well 😉 It all comes from love Allyson!

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ



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