How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{November 1, 2013}   I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

November 1, 2013

I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

Hi everyone, welcome to my world.

Several months back a friend of mine made a comment via a twitter conversation. It went something like this :

Her : “. . . remind me to watch Family Jewels next week, it looks good.”

Me : “Yea, I hope they don’t split up.”

Her : “Well, you cant have your cake and eat it too. Dude, I’ve always wanted to say that! And the one about the cow and the milk.”

For some reason, on that day, it was the funniest thing I had heard in a long time. I knew I had to do this blog. It’s not a “bucket list” it’s more of a “Cliché list”. So, here is my list of some cliques I’ve always wanted to say; at just the right time.

5) It was just gonna lay there . . .

“What? I hit the deer with my truck and got it off the road purdy (yes, purdy) soon after.I didn’t mean to hit it and it was just gonna lay there anyways. DINNER!”

4) A guilty dog . . .

“You know he’s full of shit; a guilty dog barks the loudest!”

3) He’s nuttier . . .

“He’s nuttier than a squirrel’s turd.” (yea, not the best one)

2) Lock . . .

“Lock and Load” (this is of course when carrying an semi automatic rifle.Somehow though, when I say it, I actually hear the voice of David Keith when he said it in U571)

1) Ain’t takin my . . .

“Dumbass (I toned that down for the innocent of hearts) you aint taking my mutha’ fuk’n ass to jail! (only. . . you know, to a cop).

Now, you know this is all said if fun. Personally, I wouldn’t eat a deer; perfectly good road kill or not. And I simply can’t even say the words “nuttier” and “turd” in the same sentence (I’m just too immature not to laugh my ass off at that. Last but not least, when I see a cop, I can only seem to say “yes sir/maam, no sir/maam”.

For years, well his whole life really, my grandfather would answer the telephone the same exact way. Every single time. As a child, it was irritating. As an adult, it was funny. Now, it’s just simply missed. I miss hearing him answer his phone: “It’s your nickel.” (I don’t think he got the whole inflation thing!)

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ

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{January 19, 2012}   Ten Things

December 27, 2013

Hey guys! Welcome! I originally posted this blog last January. Since I’ve gained many new reader’s recently, I thought I’d repost . . . Just to give you a little insight in to who “AJ” is. I hope you enjoy!!

January 18, 2012

Hello everyone. Welcome back!! As most of you know, last year I decided to take a bit of time off from blogging for personal reasons. One day, when it’s not so raw, I’ll write and tell you all about it. For now, it’s just good to be writing again. I hope you are as excited to read about my crazy life as I am to tell you about it!

I thought I would start by refreshing my readers as well as give some insight to my new readers into who I am, my writing style and more importantly, my odd, sometimes very weird, sense of humor.

So, here we go.

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me; But Should:

10. I am addicted to the TV show “Toddlers & Tiaras”. I’m not certain whether I am in awe

       of the girls or dumbfounded by the moms. Maybe both.

9.  I strive to be a peaceful person. I try to think before I speak. However, what you don’t know,

     is there is someone in my life that I secretly hate …. more and more. It’s a never-ending

     conflict within myself.

8.  I think Bill Goldberg is the epitome of a male role model. It’s very clear in his everyday

      public life he strives to be . . . better. I am proud to have my son look up to him.

Now for the fun part 🙂

7.  Sometimes, I make my kids watch the cartoons “Fairly Odd Parents” and “Dexter’s

     Laboratory” just so I can watch it without looking like a loser (yes, I know, that ship has

     sailed!). Who can turn down two faeries and a genius scientist? Not me!

6.  I can’t focus on anything unless my bed is made…forget the rest of the room…

5.  I cuddle with my cat. Not crazy enough? Ok, my cat and I sleep chest to chest with her paw

     touching the side of my check 🙂 isn’t that sweet? Or does that fall under mental?

     hummmm….

4.  I speak German, a bit of Spanish and American Sign Language. With my sucky memory,

      it’s not an easy task!

3.  Stewie from “Family Guy” I find strangely hilarious. As you can tell, I am easily amused.

2.  I am a hippy at heart.

NOW for the big one…..

1. I have three tattoos! I know, I look so sweet and *cough, sorry I choked on that word…innocent (damn cough again!) but I have me a wild hair.

Hopefully, I have shared some good things with you so that you aren’t ill with me for being gone so long. Maybe if I tell you where my tattoo is?

Here’s one more for the road : I know a perversely amount of meaningless trivia!!

Until Next Time . . . PEACE

AJ



{March 9, 2011}   Mini Me Part II

Hello everyone! This past week, I put a lot of work into my upcoming book “Confessions 2 AJ”. As I was working through the background graphics, I ran across something I thought would be fun to share with you.

I recently wrote a blog about my very own “mini-me” 14 year old daughter. I tried to paint an accurate and very clear picture to show just how much she was like me. From her athletic ability to her looks and right down to her writing. When I read this piece, I thought, “Now this, pure irony”. It’s almost as though I wrote the following words myself.

I would like to share this particular piece of work written by my daughter to her readers. It is an author’s note which appears before chapter eleven of her book. You read right, chapter eleven. She’s already running circles and leaving dust around me!

I have to say however, I am so very humbled with the how she reaches out to her readers to describe “Confessions”. I guess you could say she’s pimpin’ for confessions for me! The pride in her as she tells her reader’s about the book overwhelms me.

Isn’t it wonderful when your children do something so special without your input? All because she is proud; I am very blessed.

I hope you enjoy the view on “Confessions”  as seen through the eyes of a 14 year old. I would love to hear your feedback on her writing style. As I said, it’s right up my ally!

. . . I have a few confessions to make. A lot of people think they’re gross–weird–even quirky. Other than being a total perfectionist in grammar, I have the habit of drinking ketchup–out of the packet and straight out of the bottle! I just like ketchup, okay?

So…been a long month…I haven’t posted in a while…please don’t kill me. Anyway, my mother is an author, and she’s writing a book called, “Confessions to A.J.” Yeah, I know I may be boring you with this, I’m not usually serious, but just bear with me, and it’s pretty useful. Basically, what it is, is a bunch of confessions—about anything at all—sent in to my mother, and she puts them together in a book. Like, “I cheated on by boyfriend!” or “I have excessive nipple hair!” (That one was a little disturbing…) But anyway, you can submit (through a review or message, if you don’t want others to know) any secret you may have, and it’s totally confidential. No names will be mentioned, and it’s actually pretty cool. They are all anonymous and you won’t have to live with that nagging in the back of your mind telling you to do bad things like streak naked in Wal-Mart and trash the garden department. Oh…that’s just me…never mind…

 She has a website its: Ajdaily.com and her email is Aj@Ajdaily.com (De ja vu?) She actually writes a lot like me. In the whole warped-demented—must be a demon from the depths of hell—kind of way. Her writing is so much like mine, that’s it’s getting to be insanely creepy now. I mean, I could deal with the whole looking similar thing, but this is just too far! It’s like she’s constantly reading my mind and writing down my craziest thoughts. You ever feel that way?

You ever feel like the cookie monster on a mad, psychotic, axe murdering rampage? Oh, guess that’s just me again. Anyway, if you have like a confession—any secret (I drink ketchup, shh!)—just leave it in a review, or message me. It can be a funny one, a made-up one, anything. And in the next chapter, I just might let you in on a few of my confessions.

Chapter eleven! Or maybe it’s technically ten because of my author’s note…oh well! Screw my calculations! Enjoy !

 

You have to love a kid this messed up! Now if you’ll excuse me, I should go wipe the tears of joy away before they get here with the straight jackets. Did I tell you? We’re getting matching jackets!

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



et cetera