How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{November 1, 2013}   I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

November 1, 2013

I’ve Always Wanted To Say . . .

Hi everyone, welcome to my world.

Several months back a friend of mine made a comment via a twitter conversation. It went something like this :

Her : “. . . remind me to watch Family Jewels next week, it looks good.”

Me : “Yea, I hope they don’t split up.”

Her : “Well, you cant have your cake and eat it too. Dude, I’ve always wanted to say that! And the one about the cow and the milk.”

For some reason, on that day, it was the funniest thing I had heard in a long time. I knew I had to do this blog. It’s not a “bucket list” it’s more of a “Cliché list”. So, here is my list of some cliques I’ve always wanted to say; at just the right time.

5) It was just gonna lay there . . .

“What? I hit the deer with my truck and got it off the road purdy (yes, purdy) soon after.I didn’t mean to hit it and it was just gonna lay there anyways. DINNER!”

4) A guilty dog . . .

“You know he’s full of shit; a guilty dog barks the loudest!”

3) He’s nuttier . . .

“He’s nuttier than a squirrel’s turd.” (yea, not the best one)

2) Lock . . .

“Lock and Load” (this is of course when carrying an semi automatic rifle.Somehow though, when I say it, I actually hear the voice of David Keith when he said it in U571)

1) Ain’t takin my . . .

“Dumbass (I toned that down for the innocent of hearts) you aint taking my mutha’ fuk’n ass to jail! (only. . . you know, to a cop).

Now, you know this is all said if fun. Personally, I wouldn’t eat a deer; perfectly good road kill or not. And I simply can’t even say the words “nuttier” and “turd” in the same sentence (I’m just too immature not to laugh my ass off at that. Last but not least, when I see a cop, I can only seem to say “yes sir/maam, no sir/maam”.

For years, well his whole life really, my grandfather would answer the telephone the same exact way. Every single time. As a child, it was irritating. As an adult, it was funny. Now, it’s just simply missed. I miss hearing him answer his phone: “It’s your nickel.” (I don’t think he got the whole inflation thing!)

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ

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{January 19, 2012}   Ten Things

December 27, 2013

Hey guys! Welcome! I originally posted this blog last January. Since I’ve gained many new reader’s recently, I thought I’d repost . . . Just to give you a little insight in to who “AJ” is. I hope you enjoy!!

January 18, 2012

Hello everyone. Welcome back!! As most of you know, last year I decided to take a bit of time off from blogging for personal reasons. One day, when it’s not so raw, I’ll write and tell you all about it. For now, it’s just good to be writing again. I hope you are as excited to read about my crazy life as I am to tell you about it!

I thought I would start by refreshing my readers as well as give some insight to my new readers into who I am, my writing style and more importantly, my odd, sometimes very weird, sense of humor.

So, here we go.

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me; But Should:

10. I am addicted to the TV show “Toddlers & Tiaras”. I’m not certain whether I am in awe

       of the girls or dumbfounded by the moms. Maybe both.

9.  I strive to be a peaceful person. I try to think before I speak. However, what you don’t know,

     is there is someone in my life that I secretly hate …. more and more. It’s a never-ending

     conflict within myself.

8.  I think Bill Goldberg is the epitome of a male role model. It’s very clear in his everyday

      public life he strives to be . . . better. I am proud to have my son look up to him.

Now for the fun part 🙂

7.  Sometimes, I make my kids watch the cartoons “Fairly Odd Parents” and “Dexter’s

     Laboratory” just so I can watch it without looking like a loser (yes, I know, that ship has

     sailed!). Who can turn down two faeries and a genius scientist? Not me!

6.  I can’t focus on anything unless my bed is made…forget the rest of the room…

5.  I cuddle with my cat. Not crazy enough? Ok, my cat and I sleep chest to chest with her paw

     touching the side of my check 🙂 isn’t that sweet? Or does that fall under mental?

     hummmm….

4.  I speak German, a bit of Spanish and American Sign Language. With my sucky memory,

      it’s not an easy task!

3.  Stewie from “Family Guy” I find strangely hilarious. As you can tell, I am easily amused.

2.  I am a hippy at heart.

NOW for the big one…..

1. I have three tattoos! I know, I look so sweet and *cough, sorry I choked on that word…innocent (damn cough again!) but I have me a wild hair.

Hopefully, I have shared some good things with you so that you aren’t ill with me for being gone so long. Maybe if I tell you where my tattoo is?

Here’s one more for the road : I know a perversely amount of meaningless trivia!!

Until Next Time . . . PEACE

AJ



{May 27, 2011}   You Are Mine

Hi everyone! Welcome back. I know, it’s been too long.

Most of you know my niece. I’ve talked about her. I’ve shown a picture here and there. She’s just  so adorable . . . everyone agrees. Well, I’m going to show you a little window into that baby’s world; as she sees it.

 

I’m going to call her Sasha. I’m not sure if her mom would want me to mention her name or not . . . plus, Sasha is a cool name. I could so be a Sasha.

Let me tell you a few things about her. She’s two years old. She has beautiful blonde hair, hazel eyes and a “conquer the world” attitude. Her mom is working with her on her colors. Girl doesn’t know them all . . . but dammit, she will ask for her “purple paci”. Purple, she knows.

My oldest daughter has gotten Sasha hooked on a group called Alice Nine specifically, the lead singer Shou. Or as Sasha calls
him, Sho-Sho. She is very adamant about her feelings for him. “Sho-Sho” is . . . and I quote, “hers”. End of story. You just have to understand this one thing; don’t mess with Sho-Sho. It doesn’t matter what she is doing, when she hears the group’s music, she pops up and goes into a daze watching them. Sort of like me when I hear Charlie Daniels.

She recently enlisted my daughters help in writing him a letter. Basically, saying general things “hi, what are you doing? I have a paci” you know, really important things. Alas, before the letter is finished, she had her own things to tell him . . . some of it she told us, some she kept as a secret. People, remember she’s two. I thought I’d share the letter with you. It sort of takes me back do the second grade and the “check yes or no” letters. Sasha’s letter is a bit more . . . well, let’s just say she doesn’t give the option of using the “check box”.

Dear Sho-Sho,

 

I like my paci.

Where are you? 

I love you.

 

You are mine.

 

Sasha

Ahhh . . . to be young again.

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



{February 8, 2011}   Goodbye My Southern Prince

 

 

 

 

February 8, 2011

Hi everyone! Welcome back.

Okay, seriously, who does not know of my obsession with Christian Kane? Most know him as an actor. He has a long list of movie creds including, Secondhand Lions, Her Minor Thing (good movie guys, check it out) and now, he is staring on the awesome TV show, LEVERAGE (on TNT).

However, the long devoted “Kaniacs” know so much more about him. I am a “Kaniac”., and mighty proud to be one, as is my 14year old daughter.

Christian Kane

 Christian has had a successful acting career; still does. But the desire for his first love, country music, never left his heart. No, I didn’t speak to CK about his love of music. I didn’t have too. It’s clear in his songs, his words, and the passion he brings to the stage each and every time he plays.

 

Looking at the tough guy he plays on LEVERAGE, and believe me . . . I look, he doesn’t first strike you as your typical country music singer. Well, let me rephrase that a bit. He doesn’t look like most of today’s country music folk. But as soon as he opens that sexy mouth and you hear his Oklahoma via Texas accent, it’s clear to see, he is not only what a country music singer sounds like, but he is what a man of country music should be.

 

Christian Kane as Eliot Spencer on LEVERAGE

He has a little Merle Haggard, George Jones (and you know I love me some George Jones) John Anderson and a bit of Hank Jr. in his soul. What do I mean? Do I mean he gets drunk, begins to think he is superman and decides climbing a mountain is a brilliant idea? Nope, that is a pure Hank Jr,’s specialty. Am I referring to a stint he did courtesy of the Folsom Prison? Naaa, well, not that I am aware; that would be Merle.

And surely, he doesn’t get drunk and shoot up his house leaving bullet holes in the walls, the ceiling, and the upstairs. No, I think that is a George Jones original. Although, it’d probably be funny as hell if . . . nevermind. What was I saying? Oh yes, his nice, oh so nice, butt? Oh, actually, that was . . . what I was thinking; not writing. Sorry, but I am what I am, and that my friends, is a butt girl! Even money can’t beat out a nice ass. Damn, people, stop distracting me! This is hard enough to say goodbye to my love for this awesome  . . . damn.

Okay, nice ass. Well, honestly, the perfect ass, in my opinion. I’m just going to address this, you know, just to get it out here and off my mind. Pfff. . . as if. Christian has shoulders and a massive chest (one second please). I would literally, bust some balls to get close enough to touch (hey, mind out of the gutter. . . I didn’t say what kind of balls! Okay, so you know me).  Where was I? Ah, chest, shoulders… sheer perfection. And his hair! You all know me and “the hair” I just want to run my fingers through it, take a fist full and yea, baby . . . you know where I’m going with this! But I have a feeling, he can certainly take a little uhm-hum, sorry something was caught in my throat. Which on second thought was probably not the best choice of words to use in that last sentence? Anyway, you get my point. The man is a freakin’ fairy tale. Then he talks; or sings.  His pure naturally bred southern boy voice, accent, makes you believe there are still some guys that are “throw backs” from another time. Now, you may think that’s a bad thing. Not me. Yea, Merle, George and Hank Jr. all were bad boys in their day, but they had heart. They did things their way. Hank Jr. could have stuck with singing his daddy’s songs and made a fortune. That’s what the music business wanted him to do. And he did; for a few years. But he realized pretty early on, this was Hank Sr’s style, not his own. It wasn’t what he wanted to sing about and how he wanted to live his life . . . well, except for, you know, the drinking part.  So he pissed everyone in the music business off as well as his father’s fans. Even so, he realized he couldn’t live his life according to other people. Just as George knew he had to live life his way. And just the same as Merle knew he had to live his life on his terms. That is what gave these three gentlemen their soul. This was their lives and each one made the best of every single day.

I think Christian Kane follows the same rules as the ones I mentioned above. He made a name for himself in Hollywood and now, he is determined to see his other dream come true. And in true Hank Jr. style, he isn’t afraid to stir things up a bit. Just listen to his version of “Luckenbach, Texas.

So, why do I feel the need to let go of such a wonderful man? Well, you remember when you were growing up, and you would dream of your favorite star and think “wow, if he/she would just talk to me one time!” With Twitter, we now have that chance. Sometimes, we have the chance to speak with that one special celebrity only to find, they are not exactly what we thought. Sometimes, the “what we think they are”, is better left off alone.  Sometimes, you wish you could go back and to have never spoken with that person. Or in my case with Christian; having tried to speak with the one person you want to hear from, only never to be noticed. I know, I can hear all the sobs and “awww’s” for me all across America.

Yes, celebrities have many many fans tweeting to them. I am not saying Christian has wronged me in any way. He hasn’t at all. I haven’t seen him act as anything other than the perfect gentleman. Yet, remember what I was saying? Sometimes it’s better to not have a real chance to talk with your favorite celeb than to the chance, yet never get a response? Irrational, I know. But I can’t lie to you, right?

Through my writing, and just tweets, I have been lucky enough to talk to a lot of celebrities – big time celebrities. Several have chosen to follow me. I don’t normally get star struck. I just try to see things from their point of view. Which is maybe, why I now have friends like Bill Goldberg, Kimora Lee, Leann Rimes, and I can not and will not forget Beth Chapman. Even the great Hugh Hefner and I have had our moments. The celeb’s that follow me are all wonderful people with incredible lives! But yet, the main thing is; they are people. And that is how I treat them, with respect, as I would any other person I meet. Not to mention the prospect of Ed Burns possibly doing a story on my life!

I still think Christian holds all the traits I mentioned and have always believed of him. I still watch LEVERAGE, I still listen to his songs and promote them – although, not like I used to. Hey! Idea! I know, buckle up, right? Well, you better!

Mama C (Beth Chapman) could you please put Dog on CK’s trial? Hunt him down, let me just, oh, I don’t know, grab his hair (shhh, and butt) once or twice? Cuz, you know Dog can get him!

Run Christian, run very very fast!

Until next time . . . Peace

AJ



{January 18, 2011}   Really Smart People
Good morning!
Do you know anyone who is extremely smart? The same ones who feel they are much smarter than what they actually are? You know the ones; they talk with really big words and use terminology that sometimes leaves you nodding your head in agreement yet not really understanding what they are talking about? Well, I like to think of myself, as a well rounded person. Somewhere short of really smart yet a bit more than average. Reading dictionaries and encyclopedias as early as age 9 will tend to help a child to learn quickly, even if only trivial information. As a matter of fact, reading the encyclopedia is how I first learned of the tragedy of the Titanic, twenty years before it became a movie idea in Cameron’s mind. Don’t asked me how I could go from playing football with the guys and basketball and then go read out of these books. It just felt normal to me.
Sometimes, I kind of get a little confused though. I enjoy watching movies that you have to concentrate as to not miss anything, because every shot contains bits and pieces that are necessary for you to figure out the ending. I love when a movie catches me by surprise. To give you an example, the move called “The Others.” I did not put all the pieces together until right before the very end.
I love watching shows such as Forensics, Cold Cases, really, any type of shows involving a mystery. That is why I love history so much. I like to look back on incidents, like Flight 19, the workings of Hitler’s mind – how he could do all he did – and the same with Joseph Stalin. The Martha Moxley Murder was a main interest of mine since I was about ten years old when I first heard of it. There are so many mysteries I want to know the answer to. One being; who was Carly Simon singing about in “Your So Vein?” I mean, I’m 99% sure I know who it is, but I’d like to know for certain. So, you see, my levels of interests are so widely ranged. I may not be a genus, however, I am far from stupid.
So, what is leading to my occasional confusion? Well, I love all the shows above but, a new show has caught my attention and for all that is holy, I can not stop watching it! It’s just plain weird! Yet, when I see “Billy the Exterminator” on, I have to watch it! I hate roaches. I hate rats (a mouse is a rat, is a mouse, is a rat). Yet, I continuously, tune in to watch Billy and Ricky suck up roaches with the vacuum, set their mouse traps, and later, come collect them. Now I ask you, does that sound like the type of show you think I’d like? I find I ask myself, “Really? You are enjoying this show?” Yet I know, the next time I see Billy with his spiked hair, I’ll stop to watch him suck up all those nasty roaches, catch those nasty rats . . . which reminds me, did you guys see the Hoarders show when it had this guy who kept all the rats as pets? He had thousands, literately! Hummm, maybe if Billy went there . . . yea, that would definitely be a show worth watching!

 

Until next time……Peace
A.J.


et cetera