How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{November 7, 2013}   A Revisit to “Why”

Hey guys. I first wrote this blog in December 2011. With my recent car accident, my mother’s ongoing health issues and a few other personal issues, I needed the comfort that comes when I post this blog. If you saw it the first go around, I hope you enjoy the revisit. If you missed out on the original post; I hope you enjoy 🙂

* The Colour of Heaven By Aartist

It’s almost 5:30am. I have not been to sleep. I have tried but this blog and the words said here, would not leave my heart and mind. So, I hope it finds the person who needs to read these words as much as I needed to write them.

I asked God, “why do some judge me?”  He said “because you once judged another.’

I asked God, “why is it so difficult for me to buy my children the things they want?” God replied “do the children have what they need?”

I then asked God, “why have I suffered so?” He simply replied “It is not yet time for you to know.”

I ask God, “where were you when my brother died?”  God said, “I was right beside you. You were just not ready to see me”.

I dropped to the floor, crying from shame of things I had done throughout my life. With my head held down, I asked God, “how can you even look at me or bear to hear my name after all I’ve done wrong? How can you still love me?”

God said, “You have done many things in your life, some brought me joy, some brought me pain. A long time ago, at the beginning of time, I wrote your name down by mine. I gave you a gift and the desire to help others. In order for you to help others, your heart had to know the pain of others. I did not like seeing you in pain. You have asked for forgiveness, and I have given it. You can not buy forgiveness, it’s not to be bartered nor compromised.”

Reaching His hand out to me, He said, “Now, stand, my child, for your sins have already been paid.

Until next time……Peace

A.J.

* PHOTO CURTESY OF AARTIST ; http://aartist.deviantart.com/art/The-Colour-of-Heaven-138170562

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{January 19, 2012}   Ten Things

December 27, 2013

Hey guys! Welcome! I originally posted this blog last January. Since I’ve gained many new reader’s recently, I thought I’d repost . . . Just to give you a little insight in to who “AJ” is. I hope you enjoy!!

January 18, 2012

Hello everyone. Welcome back!! As most of you know, last year I decided to take a bit of time off from blogging for personal reasons. One day, when it’s not so raw, I’ll write and tell you all about it. For now, it’s just good to be writing again. I hope you are as excited to read about my crazy life as I am to tell you about it!

I thought I would start by refreshing my readers as well as give some insight to my new readers into who I am, my writing style and more importantly, my odd, sometimes very weird, sense of humor.

So, here we go.

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me; But Should:

10. I am addicted to the TV show “Toddlers & Tiaras”. I’m not certain whether I am in awe

       of the girls or dumbfounded by the moms. Maybe both.

9.  I strive to be a peaceful person. I try to think before I speak. However, what you don’t know,

     is there is someone in my life that I secretly hate …. more and more. It’s a never-ending

     conflict within myself.

8.  I think Bill Goldberg is the epitome of a male role model. It’s very clear in his everyday

      public life he strives to be . . . better. I am proud to have my son look up to him.

Now for the fun part 🙂

7.  Sometimes, I make my kids watch the cartoons “Fairly Odd Parents” and “Dexter’s

     Laboratory” just so I can watch it without looking like a loser (yes, I know, that ship has

     sailed!). Who can turn down two faeries and a genius scientist? Not me!

6.  I can’t focus on anything unless my bed is made…forget the rest of the room…

5.  I cuddle with my cat. Not crazy enough? Ok, my cat and I sleep chest to chest with her paw

     touching the side of my check 🙂 isn’t that sweet? Or does that fall under mental?

     hummmm….

4.  I speak German, a bit of Spanish and American Sign Language. With my sucky memory,

      it’s not an easy task!

3.  Stewie from “Family Guy” I find strangely hilarious. As you can tell, I am easily amused.

2.  I am a hippy at heart.

NOW for the big one…..

1. I have three tattoos! I know, I look so sweet and *cough, sorry I choked on that word…innocent (damn cough again!) but I have me a wild hair.

Hopefully, I have shared some good things with you so that you aren’t ill with me for being gone so long. Maybe if I tell you where my tattoo is?

Here’s one more for the road : I know a perversely amount of meaningless trivia!!

Until Next Time . . . PEACE

AJ



{June 20, 2011}   My Dog Is The Best Dog Ever

Hi all! Welcome.

As the title of this blog states, my dog, Ryoki, is the best and greatest dog EVER! Actually, she’s more of my dad’s dog. But I claim her as mine now.

And I’m going to tell you why. I think you’ll agree she is really something special.

Ryoki

The other night, I was going through some of my boxes. I moved into an add-on at my parents home last year to try to get back on my feet and get some other things in order. The longer I stay here, the more I think about what’s in those boxes and how tired I am of the items. So, every now and then, I’ll go through them and give some things away. I just gave all my plates to my niece. I picked out some pots for her and some silver wear for my mom along with just taking some
of my baking items out for use. By the way mom, the baking items are still mine
. . . but you can use. I love to bake.

 Anyway, I was taking some things inside the house. As usual, I had overloaded my arms and had no possible way to open the screen door. My mom’s screen door handle is broken, so it doesn’t “catch”. This is great for Ryoki because when she has to go out, she pushes the screen door ever so slightly and goes out. She hasn’t mastered knocking the door hard enough for it to bounce open wide enough so she can stick her head in to get back in . . . but she does knock when she wants back in.

Now, in the past, I have mentioned how she is the “favored sister”. And in truth, she really is. But I don’t mind, especially after what she did the other night.

There I stood outside the door, my arms so full I couldn’t even use my elbow to nudge the screen door open, saying “Someone please get the door”. I was nice at first. After all, there were five
people in the house; my three kids, their dad and both my parents, just feet away from the door. No one came to my assistance. However, I did see Ryoki standing inside the door. Again, and a little louder, I said “Can someone get the door???” Apparently, they were too busy to be bothered. Again, I see pretty little Miss Ryoki standing by the screen door. But wait, she was coming my way. Gently, she edged the door open and backed up. Dang dog. Was she teasing me? She already poops right outside my door (my door leads directly outside; she doesn’t poop in the
house). Great. Now, she’s found a new way to diss me. Which, I let her know I didn’t appreciate.

She then pushed the screen door open a little farther. Holy cow, I thought. Was she trying to open the door for me? I didn’t catch the open part quickly enough with my shoulder. So, testing the waters, I said “One more time Ryoki, I couldn’t get that one.” All the while five people were standing in the dining room; only a few feet into the house.

And, I’ll be damned. Ryoki not only opens the door, she opens it a bit wider and holds it until I catch it with my shoulder! I couldn’t believe it! I figured she was going to come outside and
that was her ultimate reason for opening the door. Yet as I nudged the screen door open, and took the one step up that led me into the house, she backs up, looks up at me wagging her tail and I swear people, she was smiling! She knew exactly what she was doing! Very impressive Ryoki!

I went around to every person in the house and bragged on her, considering they were content to ignore my pleas for someone to open the door, I felt I was justified.

As I relayed the story to my mom asked me “did she go on outside?” I proudly informed her, “No, she simply opened the door for me. Once she saw I had the door and was coming in, she backed up for me.”

How freakin’ genius is my dog?! And I thought she didn’t even like me, considering you know, the pooping outside my door and all. I think I can truly say she is my sister now with pride . . . after all, she still is a dog.

Until
next time . . .

  A.J.



As I sit here getting everything prepared for my daughter’s high school graduation today, I can not help but think about the little girl she was. As a matter of fact, I have a picture of her taken by her pre-school teacher so many years ago. I have always kept this particular photo on my refrigerator. It’s one of those pictures of her that I just love. You know the photo I mean; we
all have that one special photo that for whatever reason, hits us in a special way.

 As I look at the photo of my then, preschooler, I think back to the events surrounding the day I was given the photo. It was near the end of her preschool year. She is standing there, with her special “all-happy” smile on her beautiful face, wearing one of the dresses I made her. The dress is covered with different colored flowers. There had been another kid standing with her until she made me cut the kid out of the picture because the kid was mean and she didn’t like him. I remember how stubborn she has always been. She has such a strong personality. As a matter of fact, when she was three years old, she was so angry with the fact she could not read like her older cousin did. I explained to her that you had to actually learn how to spell the words in order
to read them. It didn’t come automatically as she thought everything should. She wanted to know how to read. She wanted to learn how to spell so I started giving her spelling tests. We would study the words throughout the week, and on Friday’s, she would test. People,
this was her idea. I didn’t force her. So don’t be all “mommy dearest” on me.

It wasn’t long before she was reading small books. Once she proved she could read, she was satisfied. It amazed me how easily she picked up each new word. It shouldn’t have, considering she started talking when she was a little shy of four months old. I’ll never forget when we were at her six month check up. The doctor offered her the “tongue presser-downer” thingy (don’t mock me, you don’t know the technical term for them either!) to her. April took it, and promptly told the doctor “thank you”. I will never, in my life, forget the look on the doctor’s face. She did a double take, looked at my baby, who was already playing with the thing, then turned to me and my mother for verification. “Did she just say thank you?” With all of my vast knowledge which came with my twenty-three years (yea, not near as much as I thought) I looked at the
pediatrician and with confusion in my eyes, answered “yes”. I couldn’t figure out why she was so surprised. This was just two words of my daughter’s vocabulary. She says many things. She sings even. She started walking when she was just shy of seven months. What was the big deal? Little did I realize how naïve I really was; I was so stupid.

It was so difficult to let her go off to pre-school. She is my oldest and has a vivid imagination. Even my two younger children went through withdrawals not having her there. She definitely kept our days filled with things to do. Even now, at 18, she can open a big ole can of worms and turn it into an all day conversation or debate, whichever way she what she chooses it to go.

Yet, it’s this spirit that lives inside her, that has made her the person . . . dare I say, the woman, she is today. She is full of life, love and conviction for what she believes is right. And she is not afraid to stand up for her beliefs.

I know as she walks tonight, as she receives her diploma, and takes those first steps towards her adult life, she does so with a strong belief and determination to make this world a better place. And I know, with all that is within me, that she will make a difference in our world. As she does, I hope she’ll forgive the tears I know will be falling down my cheeks. And I hope she knows I could not be any prouder than I am at this moment . . . tears and all.

Until  next time……Peace

A.J.



Hello everyone! Welcome.

Aren’t Mondays supposed to suck? I mean, we all moan and groan when Monday morning get here. We get all geared up in anticipation of starting a new week. A new week of commuting to work or if you work from home, we gear up and get into our “work mode”. Another week of, for most of us, dealing with idiots, at least that’s what I hear!

Something must be very wrong with me today. Because, I had forgotten it was even Monday! Of course, I do have a really really good reason to forget what day it is. I scarcely remember what month it is. It’s still March, right?

So, my twitter family, most of them anyway, has already heard I received a top mention on my “I Am One” blog. With that, I earned a little money. Not a bad deal, huh? Well, things just keep getting better and I want to share it all with you, every step of the way.

I know I’ve told you this before, but for the new followers please be patient. When I started the blog, it was for the purpose of helping others as well as personal healing. I started out blogging of the end of my marriage, the pain that came with and how I pulled myself back together. I just wanted to bring to light we are not alone during these times, because I had felt so alone. Soon my blog turned towards my random thoughts, like arm pit hair, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air reunion, my cousin’s adventure on COPS, oh and who can forget the drunken clown? I know I have been unable to wash that memory from my brain, and I have tried!

With each blog came reinforcement of my validity. It has always been my intent to write a book, actually many books, and I have begun Confessions2AJ. I am about half way through in case you’re wondering, but I need more confessions! So send them on http://www.AJDaily.com .

I have some wonderful and amazing news to share with you today. Last night, completely out of the blue, I retained a manager! That’s right, I’m big time now, baby! All joking aside, I am floored still. I am not sure how well I will be able to hand over part of my life, well . . . control of this part of my life, but I know I will soon learn and be happier for it. We have, well I need to give her her due, she has some amazing ideas upcoming  for all of us!

Thank you all for joining and sticking with me on the crazy ride! I promise, when I meet Ed Burns for talks of a film– because, you know I will – I’ll remember how I got there.

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



et cetera