How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{August 20, 2015}   Alan: The Ultimate Periscoper

Hi everyone! I hope everyone has been doing well since I’ve last posted. I know it has been quite a while. Now that I think about it, maybe I should ask for updates on what’s new in your life. Anyone give birth? Married? Found love? Lost love? Anyway, I hope life has been good to each of you!

I’m usually the last to know things. By things, I mean new social sites, news, changes in social sites . . . changes in general really. I don’t care for change. I rebel against any slight change. So, when I receive invites to join a new social site (usually coming from my friend Karla) I’m torn between “HELL no, not another site to learn and keep up with. No way.” And “If I want to keep my name out there for my writing, I must be active on the latest social sites as well as the current ones.” Eventually, I’ll join the new site and see if and how I will be able to utilize it to help promote, learn and stay up to date with what’s going on in the world. I try to give it a good six months. More often than not, I end up deleting my profile. Although I enjoy conversing with friends and followers on the sites I have not used the sites solely for “fun” purposes, until now.

First of all, I actually found out about this new site before Karla and was able to teach her of a new site for once! Shout out to Christina for the turning me on to Periscope.

What is this Periscope I speak of, you ask? It’s fun as shit! But that’s not really a description is it? Easiest way to explain it: it’s like twitter but live video. Someone takes a video and the followers can “tweet” questions, statements etc in real time. It’s pretty damn cool.

Now, I’m not really certain exactly how I ran across this one dude, Alan, but praise all that’s holy I did. He is not only cute as can be, he’s hilarious. But we all know my sense of humor is a bit off (no offense intended Alan). It’s nothing specific I can put my finger on but the dude cracks me up! He lives in LA yet he seems to have that small town heart. I think that’s what makes him so endearing. He always tries to say hi to everyone who comments during his live stream. He seems to be a tidbit shy if someone says how cute he is. It’s freakin ADORABLE! Now, all this being said he’s in law enforcement. I don’t say that negatively. It takes allot of balls to be in law enforcement especially is such a large city. Before anyone chews my ass … yes, I understand there are good cops and some bad cops. Alan is clearly one of the good ones. How do I know this? After all, he has never pulled me over. You can tell allot about someone by watching them just goofing around. A genuine person, when goofing around, you can see it in the eyes. You can feel it in the laugh. You feel a certain kinship toward someone you can watch live stream where ANYTHING can happen and trip the person up. A fake person, a con, can’t do that for long. It’s all in the eyes if you look deep enough. Alan is one cool guy…I’m sad (just a little) that I don’t know him as a friend in person. But then again, one cool as shit guy and one up for almost anything hippy . . . I can see some trouble coming. However, it would be one hell of a friendship! One to remember.

All joking aside, Periscope is the shiznit. Go check it out and don’t forget to follow Alan. Guaranteed some laughs and you’ll come out of it with a much lighter heart. Thank you Alan!!

Here is a recent video from Alan. Go watch . . . now, because it only stays up 24 hours! If you view this after the video expires just go to my Periscope @WriterAJCarroll and look under my follows or go directly to his page @Jewce22

https://www.periscope.tv/w/aKXWDDg0NzA0ODZ8NjU0MjcxOTWnIu9YmRlQToxZdOfxqkTwVXCfCFbpjugqPLLMthzTKA==

Until next time . . . Peace

AJ

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Knightdale Dragons: Let’s Do This!

Hi everyone! Welcome. Most of you have probably heard of the site GoFundMe.com. If you haven’t, take a minute and check it out. Basically, it’s a web site anyone can post a request asking friends, family even strangers to donate money to help said person purchase whatever they need may have at the time. In theory, it’s meant to help those who cannot afford to cover certain necessities. Sounds pretty simple right?
I’ve actually struggled with such sites. As with any “donation” requests, for lack of a better word, you have a good amount of bullsh#ters just trying to get money because they can. It’s unfortunate and I personally do not understand how anyone could in any circumstance can scam people out of money and to top it off . . . have no conscience about it. You know I’m right on this one. Then there’s the other issue I am dealing daily. With one kid in University and leaving in two weeks to spend a year in Japan as well as another child graduating this year, my funds are squealing I’m squeezing so tight.

There’s a third issue. I have a true need myself. I almost lost my life but for the Grace of God last September and in the process totaled my Jeep. I have not been able to replace it. I have three children and no vehicle and no means to replace it. Yet, I didn’t feel right about posting asking for money. Especially the couple thousand it would require to purchase a decent car. So, in my mind . . . why on earth would I donate to someone unless it was a dear friend? I just don’t have it. This is my struggle with this site.

Yesterday, I saw something which caused me to have a change of heart. Now, I am fond of the Lizard Lick Towing crew; each one. I’ve been lucky enough to interact with them on several occasions. I admire the way they run the business, I admire the way they so obviously allow God to be first. There’s so many reasons to admire them. Oh, let me just say right quick for those who think the Lick crew is scum because they are in the repo business. After my divorce years ago, I had a repo. I took the keys to the company. I was responsible for the payments, I couldn’t make them, and I returned the car. I didn’t hide the vehicle. I didn’t stay on the run with it. I didn’t burst into the office breaking things because my car was gone. So, let’s not berate the Shirley’s for doing their job. (This is my statement not Ronnie nor Amy’s).

Back on point. I ran across a Vine from Ronnie Shirley speaking about the GoFundMe account he has established. After reading the post, I knew I had to do something. I immediately posted on Facebook and twitter and retweeted it several times. Since it is now past 3:00 am, and I haven’t slept, obviously that just wasn’t enough. So, I go to my writing hoping to reach all my readers. There’s a few thousand so it has to make some difference right? So many of us are blessed in that we can provide not only the necessities but the recreational sports equipment needed for our kids and the community. Even if sometimes, doing this takes our last dollar. But we give our last dollar so our kids can be a part of a team. Not only because they want to play but because the ripple effect playing a sport puts into is motion is immeasurable. I don’t have to go into how many times it’s been proven playing at least one sport largely keeps kids out of trouble. And that is just one positive . . . extremely positive aspect of being able to play on a team. In Ronnie’s post he mentions wanting his sons to play in a league with good solid character reinforcing. Not like some leagues have become . . . all about the win . . . coaches in it for the wrong reasons…etc. Down here, I’m lucky enough to have a great community with wonderful volunteers. We are also blessed with having the equipment needed to learn, play and fellowship. We have a place for our kids to go after school. A field to play on. Ronnie’s team, the Knightdale Dragons, is not so fortunate.

As Ronnie’s post will tell you (I won’t list them all I’ve talked enough) they have nothing. Zilch. Not even a field. They do have one thing however. They have kids who want to be involved. Who want to be a part of a team. This team really needs our help guys. Please go check out Ronnie’s post http://www.GoFundme.com/licklifedragons. Just take a few minutes and read it. If you are able, I know these kids would be so grateful. If you are unable to help, that’s ok too. I would still encourage you to go read about these great kids. I’m headed there right now.

Oh, and Ronnie and Amy are matching the first $3500.00. That is sure to buy every possible thing this team needs!

Thanks guys!

Until next time . . . PEACE
AJ Carroll





{July 12, 2014}   A Letter of Love

Hi everyone! Welcome. To say I was delivered a shock a few weeks ago would be acutely accurate. See, I had been dating someone since late last year. We called it quits towards the end of January/beginning of February. In the whole scheme of things, we really hadn’t dated very long. However, *Mike and I have known each other somewhere around twenty five years or so. Although that period was broken into chunks of time.
I knew going into the relationship, it could not lead into anything serious. Mike made it clear he would not make a commitment . . . ever. I was ok with this. At that point, I wasn’t even certain if I wanted anything more than a friend to hang out with. Even though Mike and I only dated a short time, it was intense. It was only a short time into the relationship that Mike told me he wanted to be exclusive. Yet still holding to the fact that in the end, this would be all we could have. It would not lead to boyfriend/girlfriend status. It would not lead to meeting his children. In fact, I got the feeling they would never know about me. It would absolutely never end in marriage.
For some reason, this relationship was out of the norm for me. Typically, I didn’t care about anyone I had dated (other than the casual concern). I never looked into the future and wonder what would be. To be frank, I would tire of them rather quickly. It didn’t matter to me if they would get mad because I didn’t carve out a place for them in my world. My kids never even met the guys I hung out with. There was no reason for them too, in my mind. Usually by the second date, I knew whether or not there was anything there to build on. Time and time again, there wasn’t.
I was happy to hear Mike say he only wanted it to be “us”. I was falling and falling fast. This was a huge problem for me. Mike was no closer to being a couple in every sense of the word than he was when we our first date. I felt some of the choices he was making at the time along with his “no love” stance it was clear where his mind and heart would always remain. And that wouldn’t be with me.
So, ultimately, I went into self-preservation mode as is my way. I began, almost without control, pushing him away by my actions. I pushed and I pushed hard. It worked. It worked too well. Mike walked away thinking, I’m certain, that he dodged a bullet. He dodged a ride on the crazy train.
I wouldn’t talk about him with anyone. Not even my father, with whom I share a special bond with. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. He was always able to “fix” things for me. That is, until my divorce several years ago. I had to fight my way back from a very dark place. I had to do this on my own. No one could fight the battle with me, no one could ease the pain and at times, I thought I would never be whole again. I still feel that way at times. However, I now know having a husband or someone who loves you completely isn’t what makes you whole.
Yes, it hurt not being able to talk to Mike and not being able to see his face. But I knew I would get through it with a little bit of time. We no longer spoke, texted, nor emailed. He even deleted me from his Facebook. I’ve said it before, when I push someone away in an attempt to save myself, it do it right.
As the months went gone by, I no longer had to fight the feeling to check his Facebook just to get a glimpse of him. I no longer think of him every day. I don’t even get that quiet sadness I used to when I thought of what could have been. I don’t want to say I never think of him, but it’s not often and only for a fleeting second. Until a few weeks ago.
Out of the blue, I see where he is now my friend again on Facebook. I realize Facebook is simply Facebook. It’s not magic, it doesn’t provide true friendships as a norm. Although, I have met some very close friends as well as my old high school friends. Either way, he cyber-connected with me. My heart skipped a few beats at the sight of him. I was not expecting to see his face that morning. I thanked him. We had a little idle chit chat and with that, closed the circle that was our relationship.
Mike will always hold a special place in my heart. He taught me it was ok to let myself feel those feelings I had be blocking out for so long. It was ok to really feel in the moment and although we have different desires and wants in the long term, it’s ok to take that chance. If it doesn’t work . . . will heal. But one day, I’ll get it right. I look forward to the day I know I’ve nailed this love thing. I know God will lead me down the right path. I know at the end of that path, or maybe somewhere along the way, he (whoever he is) is waiting for me as well.

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ

*name changed



{May 21, 2014}   Swingin By

I am not a very emotional person. By emotional, I mean the “lovey-dovey, strawberries and cream” kind of emotion, although I do have my moments. Yet, sometimes I am faced with words I must put to paper. Almost as if the words are slapping me saying “I will win, so you might as well get up and write this story so you can get some sleep.” Yea, sounds like tons of fun, doesn’t it?

So here goes. I literately dreamed this poem. Although, in the dream it was a song, I was surrounded by cowboys that looked like Brett Michaels and Vince Neil . . , all on horseback, doing a reality TV show about “real cowboys”. Seriously. And let me tell you, if you think having a song stuck in your head is bad, try having a song that doesn’t exist stuck in your head. Now that, my friends, is a pain in the arse.                                  

Now that I have left you with the image of Motley Crue’s lead singer on horseback, did I mention the cowboy hats? OH, and “Cowboy Troy” was there as well . . . the only black cowboy I know. Here is the result of my mind’s never ending imagination. It doesn’t always make sense, but at least there are hot guys, huh?

 

                                                         A friend comes when called.

                                             A better friend calls to see how you are.

                              But the greatest of friends, aww . . the greatest of friends

                                                           Swing by – just in case.

 

Thank you all for swingin’ by.

Until Next Time . . . PEACE

AJ



et cetera