How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{October 14, 2014}   The Next Chapter

Hi everyone! Thank you for visiting my blog. My name is AJ. I originally began writing this blog in an attempt to work through some personal issues deriving from my divorce some five years prior. Not only did this blog provide a safe place for me to put words to the feelings I was dealing with, I believe this blog sometimes served as a life boat for me. When I felt helpless, hurt, angry, alone, confused and exhausted, I would turn to my blog and just write letting it all out. I immediately felt better emotionally, but I also felt mentally centered, if that makes sense.

It was also my hope, I would be able to reach out to those who may be feeling some of the same feelings I was dealing with. If I could help just one person know she/he was not alone . . . as I often felt, I knew it would be worth opening myself up this way. By the way, opening up, being so exposed, is not easy for me.

I wanted to find when and where I lost the woman I once was. The woman I loved. The one I had self confidence in. The woman I was before the end of my husband of 20 years walked out on me and our three kids deciding he “no longer wanted to be married”. I wanted to find the woman I knew was still somewhere deep inside of the woman I had become. I’m not proud of that woman. She was bitter, in so much pain, each day was a struggle, and she had given up on love completely. Hence the name of this blog. How I Ended Up This Way. It didn’t happen overnight and wouldn’t be fixed overnight. However, I knew it was within me to dig deep and rediscover the woman who believed in love and saw the world as a place to enjoy and experience life instead of something I would have to endure day after day.

As it turned out, from the very first blog post… I received so many stories from my readers saying “I’m in tears… this could have been written about me” or “I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I truly felt alone in the world”. Hearing these words, my pain fell to the wayside. I had a new mission. It was to do whatever I could, using my experiences, to reach out to help these lovely people not feel so alone.

Once my mission became clear, I was like falling back into my old self. By telling my story and some wacky stories along the way, I found the woman I had been searching for all along. To my readers and those who shared your stories via comments … I am so grateful to you.

As I make my way through the next chapter of my life, I hope you will continue to read my blogs and take this journey with me wherever it may lead me. We’ll share some laughs, maybe a few tears, but definitely encouragement that you are not alone in this!

Be sure to follow my facebook facebook.com/writerajcarroll (and like my Author page for updates on my novel Rightfully Mine)

And twitter: http://www.Twitter.com/WriterAJCarroll

Until next time…
AJ

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{August 10, 2014}   Why I Love Nerds

Hello everyone! Welcome. It’s pretty easy for me to find enjoyment out of everyday life. I mean, I seek out the humor in almost every situation. Of course, this is not always possible, but I do cherish the times when it is possible to laugh at life.

Which brings me to one of the funniest TV shows I’ve seen in a very long time; The Big Bang Theory.

First, let me tell you a little about the show, in case you have never seen it. Basically, there are four rocket scientists. Actually, three scientists and one engineer. Sheldon is a genius. He is the smartest, most anal and put simply, a perfectionist. He has no social skills, although, he does try. For about four seconds. It’s easier just to do things his way, which is pretty much what everyone does. Enter the beautiful new neighbor, Penny.

Penny is an aspiring actress whom Leonard falls in love with at first site. Raj can’t speak to women unless he has at least one sip of liquor.  Howard is, according to Sheldon, an under-achiever because he doesn’t hold a doctrine. He is merely an engineer living at home with his loud mouth Jewish mother.

Here is a clip which sums up the show pretty well.

There are just so many bits of joy that is embedded in this show; way to many too mention. However, I thought I’d share a few of my favorites with you. Who  knows, this may convert you into a nerd lover as well!

1) The Sarcasm Sign :

 2) I must include this clip after the scarcasm . . . there really should be a “sacrcasm sign”.

3) Positive Reinforcement :

4) Penny’s Addiction :

5) Sheldon’s Childhood Issues :

6)   Always Willing To Help :

7)  Last but certainly not least – Who’s Smarter Sheldon or Leonard?

And just because it’s funny to tell your friend’s mother on you :

Hope you enjoyed this little trip into what makes me tick. Told ya, warped.

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ



{November 7, 2013}   A Revisit to “Why”

Hey guys. I first wrote this blog in December 2011. With my recent car accident, my mother’s ongoing health issues and a few other personal issues, I needed the comfort that comes when I post this blog. If you saw it the first go around, I hope you enjoy the revisit. If you missed out on the original post; I hope you enjoy 🙂

* The Colour of Heaven By Aartist

It’s almost 5:30am. I have not been to sleep. I have tried but this blog and the words said here, would not leave my heart and mind. So, I hope it finds the person who needs to read these words as much as I needed to write them.

I asked God, “why do some judge me?”  He said “because you once judged another.’

I asked God, “why is it so difficult for me to buy my children the things they want?” God replied “do the children have what they need?”

I then asked God, “why have I suffered so?” He simply replied “It is not yet time for you to know.”

I ask God, “where were you when my brother died?”  God said, “I was right beside you. You were just not ready to see me”.

I dropped to the floor, crying from shame of things I had done throughout my life. With my head held down, I asked God, “how can you even look at me or bear to hear my name after all I’ve done wrong? How can you still love me?”

God said, “You have done many things in your life, some brought me joy, some brought me pain. A long time ago, at the beginning of time, I wrote your name down by mine. I gave you a gift and the desire to help others. In order for you to help others, your heart had to know the pain of others. I did not like seeing you in pain. You have asked for forgiveness, and I have given it. You can not buy forgiveness, it’s not to be bartered nor compromised.”

Reaching His hand out to me, He said, “Now, stand, my child, for your sins have already been paid.

Until next time……Peace

A.J.

* PHOTO CURTESY OF AARTIST ; http://aartist.deviantart.com/art/The-Colour-of-Heaven-138170562



{January 23, 2012}   Ode To Marina

January 23, 2011

Ode to Marina

Hi everyone, welcome! Weird title for a blog, huh? I mean, who the heck is Marina and why am I of all people writing an “ode” to her. I know how you think. Well, Marina is a good friend of mine. Duh, obviously, right? Seriously, please remember I am a blonde.

Well, I feel pretty bad. I made a promise to Marina and have yet to come through for her. See, I promised her a special blog post two days ago naming the first ever “A.J.’s  Blog Awards”. Little did I know how hard it would be to find the right words when trying to honor someone you respect, especially when your friends are involved. No, it’s not hard; it’s freakin’ hard!

And what can I say? I know Marina wakes up each and every day for the sole enjoyment of reading my blog. I mean, I know, she loves her kids. I know she loves her husband. And I know she loves to curse. REALLY loves to curse. But my blog, she completely suffers anxiety when I don’t post regularly.

So Marina, my dear friend, here is your daily blog. Completely in honor of you! Now, of course, you know I’m just having some laughs, Marina has many blogs she loves to read. As a matter of fact, it takes her complete work day just to get through them all! All that reading plus writing her own blog, it’s no wonder she wants her blogs ASAP.

You have to love a dedicated reader!!

HUGS TO YOU MARINA!!!

PS. You’ll have your “Award Blog” tomorrow, I promise.

Check out Marina’s blog at : http://MarinaSleeps.wordpress.com

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ



{January 19, 2012}   Ten Things

December 27, 2013

Hey guys! Welcome! I originally posted this blog last January. Since I’ve gained many new reader’s recently, I thought I’d repost . . . Just to give you a little insight in to who “AJ” is. I hope you enjoy!!

January 18, 2012

Hello everyone. Welcome back!! As most of you know, last year I decided to take a bit of time off from blogging for personal reasons. One day, when it’s not so raw, I’ll write and tell you all about it. For now, it’s just good to be writing again. I hope you are as excited to read about my crazy life as I am to tell you about it!

I thought I would start by refreshing my readers as well as give some insight to my new readers into who I am, my writing style and more importantly, my odd, sometimes very weird, sense of humor.

So, here we go.

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me; But Should:

10. I am addicted to the TV show “Toddlers & Tiaras”. I’m not certain whether I am in awe

       of the girls or dumbfounded by the moms. Maybe both.

9.  I strive to be a peaceful person. I try to think before I speak. However, what you don’t know,

     is there is someone in my life that I secretly hate …. more and more. It’s a never-ending

     conflict within myself.

8.  I think Bill Goldberg is the epitome of a male role model. It’s very clear in his everyday

      public life he strives to be . . . better. I am proud to have my son look up to him.

Now for the fun part 🙂

7.  Sometimes, I make my kids watch the cartoons “Fairly Odd Parents” and “Dexter’s

     Laboratory” just so I can watch it without looking like a loser (yes, I know, that ship has

     sailed!). Who can turn down two faeries and a genius scientist? Not me!

6.  I can’t focus on anything unless my bed is made…forget the rest of the room…

5.  I cuddle with my cat. Not crazy enough? Ok, my cat and I sleep chest to chest with her paw

     touching the side of my check 🙂 isn’t that sweet? Or does that fall under mental?

     hummmm….

4.  I speak German, a bit of Spanish and American Sign Language. With my sucky memory,

      it’s not an easy task!

3.  Stewie from “Family Guy” I find strangely hilarious. As you can tell, I am easily amused.

2.  I am a hippy at heart.

NOW for the big one…..

1. I have three tattoos! I know, I look so sweet and *cough, sorry I choked on that word…innocent (damn cough again!) but I have me a wild hair.

Hopefully, I have shared some good things with you so that you aren’t ill with me for being gone so long. Maybe if I tell you where my tattoo is?

Here’s one more for the road : I know a perversely amount of meaningless trivia!!

Until Next Time . . . PEACE

AJ



et cetera