How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{November 7, 2013}   A Revisit to “Why”

Hey guys. I first wrote this blog in December 2011. With my recent car accident, my mother’s ongoing health issues and a few other personal issues, I needed the comfort that comes when I post this blog. If you saw it the first go around, I hope you enjoy the revisit. If you missed out on the original post; I hope you enjoy 🙂

* The Colour of Heaven By Aartist

It’s almost 5:30am. I have not been to sleep. I have tried but this blog and the words said here, would not leave my heart and mind. So, I hope it finds the person who needs to read these words as much as I needed to write them.

I asked God, “why do some judge me?”  He said “because you once judged another.’

I asked God, “why is it so difficult for me to buy my children the things they want?” God replied “do the children have what they need?”

I then asked God, “why have I suffered so?” He simply replied “It is not yet time for you to know.”

I ask God, “where were you when my brother died?”  God said, “I was right beside you. You were just not ready to see me”.

I dropped to the floor, crying from shame of things I had done throughout my life. With my head held down, I asked God, “how can you even look at me or bear to hear my name after all I’ve done wrong? How can you still love me?”

God said, “You have done many things in your life, some brought me joy, some brought me pain. A long time ago, at the beginning of time, I wrote your name down by mine. I gave you a gift and the desire to help others. In order for you to help others, your heart had to know the pain of others. I did not like seeing you in pain. You have asked for forgiveness, and I have given it. You can not buy forgiveness, it’s not to be bartered nor compromised.”

Reaching His hand out to me, He said, “Now, stand, my child, for your sins have already been paid.

Until next time……Peace

A.J.

* PHOTO CURTESY OF AARTIST ; http://aartist.deviantart.com/art/The-Colour-of-Heaven-138170562

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As I sit here getting everything prepared for my daughter’s high school graduation today, I can not help but think about the little girl she was. As a matter of fact, I have a picture of her taken by her pre-school teacher so many years ago. I have always kept this particular photo on my refrigerator. It’s one of those pictures of her that I just love. You know the photo I mean; we
all have that one special photo that for whatever reason, hits us in a special way.

 As I look at the photo of my then, preschooler, I think back to the events surrounding the day I was given the photo. It was near the end of her preschool year. She is standing there, with her special “all-happy” smile on her beautiful face, wearing one of the dresses I made her. The dress is covered with different colored flowers. There had been another kid standing with her until she made me cut the kid out of the picture because the kid was mean and she didn’t like him. I remember how stubborn she has always been. She has such a strong personality. As a matter of fact, when she was three years old, she was so angry with the fact she could not read like her older cousin did. I explained to her that you had to actually learn how to spell the words in order
to read them. It didn’t come automatically as she thought everything should. She wanted to know how to read. She wanted to learn how to spell so I started giving her spelling tests. We would study the words throughout the week, and on Friday’s, she would test. People,
this was her idea. I didn’t force her. So don’t be all “mommy dearest” on me.

It wasn’t long before she was reading small books. Once she proved she could read, she was satisfied. It amazed me how easily she picked up each new word. It shouldn’t have, considering she started talking when she was a little shy of four months old. I’ll never forget when we were at her six month check up. The doctor offered her the “tongue presser-downer” thingy (don’t mock me, you don’t know the technical term for them either!) to her. April took it, and promptly told the doctor “thank you”. I will never, in my life, forget the look on the doctor’s face. She did a double take, looked at my baby, who was already playing with the thing, then turned to me and my mother for verification. “Did she just say thank you?” With all of my vast knowledge which came with my twenty-three years (yea, not near as much as I thought) I looked at the
pediatrician and with confusion in my eyes, answered “yes”. I couldn’t figure out why she was so surprised. This was just two words of my daughter’s vocabulary. She says many things. She sings even. She started walking when she was just shy of seven months. What was the big deal? Little did I realize how naïve I really was; I was so stupid.

It was so difficult to let her go off to pre-school. She is my oldest and has a vivid imagination. Even my two younger children went through withdrawals not having her there. She definitely kept our days filled with things to do. Even now, at 18, she can open a big ole can of worms and turn it into an all day conversation or debate, whichever way she what she chooses it to go.

Yet, it’s this spirit that lives inside her, that has made her the person . . . dare I say, the woman, she is today. She is full of life, love and conviction for what she believes is right. And she is not afraid to stand up for her beliefs.

I know as she walks tonight, as she receives her diploma, and takes those first steps towards her adult life, she does so with a strong belief and determination to make this world a better place. And I know, with all that is within me, that she will make a difference in our world. As she does, I hope she’ll forgive the tears I know will be falling down my cheeks. And I hope she knows I could not be any prouder than I am at this moment . . . tears and all.

Until  next time……Peace

A.J.



{May 27, 2011}   You Are Mine

Hi everyone! Welcome back. I know, it’s been too long.

Most of you know my niece. I’ve talked about her. I’ve shown a picture here and there. She’s just  so adorable . . . everyone agrees. Well, I’m going to show you a little window into that baby’s world; as she sees it.

 

I’m going to call her Sasha. I’m not sure if her mom would want me to mention her name or not . . . plus, Sasha is a cool name. I could so be a Sasha.

Let me tell you a few things about her. She’s two years old. She has beautiful blonde hair, hazel eyes and a “conquer the world” attitude. Her mom is working with her on her colors. Girl doesn’t know them all . . . but dammit, she will ask for her “purple paci”. Purple, she knows.

My oldest daughter has gotten Sasha hooked on a group called Alice Nine specifically, the lead singer Shou. Or as Sasha calls
him, Sho-Sho. She is very adamant about her feelings for him. “Sho-Sho” is . . . and I quote, “hers”. End of story. You just have to understand this one thing; don’t mess with Sho-Sho. It doesn’t matter what she is doing, when she hears the group’s music, she pops up and goes into a daze watching them. Sort of like me when I hear Charlie Daniels.

She recently enlisted my daughters help in writing him a letter. Basically, saying general things “hi, what are you doing? I have a paci” you know, really important things. Alas, before the letter is finished, she had her own things to tell him . . . some of it she told us, some she kept as a secret. People, remember she’s two. I thought I’d share the letter with you. It sort of takes me back do the second grade and the “check yes or no” letters. Sasha’s letter is a bit more . . . well, let’s just say she doesn’t give the option of using the “check box”.

Dear Sho-Sho,

 

I like my paci.

Where are you? 

I love you.

 

You are mine.

 

Sasha

Ahhh . . . to be young again.

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



{March 9, 2011}   Mini Me Part II

Hello everyone! This past week, I put a lot of work into my upcoming book “Confessions 2 AJ”. As I was working through the background graphics, I ran across something I thought would be fun to share with you.

I recently wrote a blog about my very own “mini-me” 14 year old daughter. I tried to paint an accurate and very clear picture to show just how much she was like me. From her athletic ability to her looks and right down to her writing. When I read this piece, I thought, “Now this, pure irony”. It’s almost as though I wrote the following words myself.

I would like to share this particular piece of work written by my daughter to her readers. It is an author’s note which appears before chapter eleven of her book. You read right, chapter eleven. She’s already running circles and leaving dust around me!

I have to say however, I am so very humbled with the how she reaches out to her readers to describe “Confessions”. I guess you could say she’s pimpin’ for confessions for me! The pride in her as she tells her reader’s about the book overwhelms me.

Isn’t it wonderful when your children do something so special without your input? All because she is proud; I am very blessed.

I hope you enjoy the view on “Confessions”  as seen through the eyes of a 14 year old. I would love to hear your feedback on her writing style. As I said, it’s right up my ally!

. . . I have a few confessions to make. A lot of people think they’re gross–weird–even quirky. Other than being a total perfectionist in grammar, I have the habit of drinking ketchup–out of the packet and straight out of the bottle! I just like ketchup, okay?

So…been a long month…I haven’t posted in a while…please don’t kill me. Anyway, my mother is an author, and she’s writing a book called, “Confessions to A.J.” Yeah, I know I may be boring you with this, I’m not usually serious, but just bear with me, and it’s pretty useful. Basically, what it is, is a bunch of confessions—about anything at all—sent in to my mother, and she puts them together in a book. Like, “I cheated on by boyfriend!” or “I have excessive nipple hair!” (That one was a little disturbing…) But anyway, you can submit (through a review or message, if you don’t want others to know) any secret you may have, and it’s totally confidential. No names will be mentioned, and it’s actually pretty cool. They are all anonymous and you won’t have to live with that nagging in the back of your mind telling you to do bad things like streak naked in Wal-Mart and trash the garden department. Oh…that’s just me…never mind…

 She has a website its: Ajdaily.com and her email is Aj@Ajdaily.com (De ja vu?) She actually writes a lot like me. In the whole warped-demented—must be a demon from the depths of hell—kind of way. Her writing is so much like mine, that’s it’s getting to be insanely creepy now. I mean, I could deal with the whole looking similar thing, but this is just too far! It’s like she’s constantly reading my mind and writing down my craziest thoughts. You ever feel that way?

You ever feel like the cookie monster on a mad, psychotic, axe murdering rampage? Oh, guess that’s just me again. Anyway, if you have like a confession—any secret (I drink ketchup, shh!)—just leave it in a review, or message me. It can be a funny one, a made-up one, anything. And in the next chapter, I just might let you in on a few of my confessions.

Chapter eleven! Or maybe it’s technically ten because of my author’s note…oh well! Screw my calculations! Enjoy !

 

You have to love a kid this messed up! Now if you’ll excuse me, I should go wipe the tears of joy away before they get here with the straight jackets. Did I tell you? We’re getting matching jackets!

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



{February 21, 2011}   My Daughter Out Ranks Me

Most of my readers are aware I am in the process of completing a book called “Confessions 2 AJ”. Several of you have participated, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It will not be long before I have enough material to submit the manuscript for publication!

If you have already submitted a “confession” please, feel free to submit as many as you like! The more, the better the book will be.

For those of you that have chosen not to participate at this time, you still have time to change your minds! As I have promised you before, all names will be held under privacy protection. As a matter of fact, I will not be publishing names; even when asked to do so. And, I have been asked to include names by some people for their confession.

Anyway, my 14 year old daughter. . . where do I start? Although, she has her own way of doing things, she is sort of a mini me. She looks like me. Especially, when she was small.  She is athletic just as I was growing up (and still am). Even down to the way she runs; just like I did. My mom once asked me, when I was young, “why do you run like that?” Not sure what she meant by that, but I’m sure it was not a compliment. She likes most of the same . . . well, she loves Christian Kane. Need I say more?

My daughter approx. 3 yrs old

Me approx. 2 1/2 yrs old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to say, publically, to her: thank you for being my biggest supporter! I love you dearly and I am so thankful you find humor in your mom’s oh so warped mind!

Now down to business. My daughter is so very talented. She also writes. She is much more talented than I am because not only does she write stories, she has the ability to write poems, songs, even rap songs. Some  of her work, I have posted early in my blogs. The first one I posted, she wrote at age eleven. You should check it out, very poignant. It’s called “The Unknown” posted on July 22, 2010.

She is writing a book. Did I say she was 14?! There is a site for teens where they can go and share their stories with other teens. And yes, I read them as well; I keep a tight reign on what sites they visit.  

I am 40 years old. I have some fans/friends. I hate saying “I have fans…” It sounds arrogant to me. But, my daughter has fans. WHAT? Yep, you heard, well, read me right. She has fans. Fans that ask her to read their work and give feedback. Fans that say, “When are you posting another chapter?” She will post at least one chapter at a time. They tell her how much they love “so and so” and how they can’t wait to see if “so and so” will get together with “whoever”. They have actually fallen in love with her story and the characters she has invented. How cool is that!

I knew she was talented and had the ability to be a great writer. What I didn’t fully understand, is she would be implementing that ability this early in her life. I am extremely proud of her and would be, no matter what she chose to do. However, it is incredibly amazing to see her realize this particular talent and actually chose to use it. Can you imagine what she will be able to accomplish? And so much earlier than I have or will. As wonderful as all this is I must admit I will forever see her as the wonderful happy baby shown below. Always the peace maker, she was.

 

I fully expect to, one day, be out ranked by her in the writing world. And you know what? I am just fine with that.

Until next time……Peace

AJ



et cetera