How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{October 14, 2014}   The Next Chapter

Hi everyone! Thank you for visiting my blog. My name is AJ. I originally began writing this blog in an attempt to work through some personal issues deriving from my divorce some five years prior. Not only did this blog provide a safe place for me to put words to the feelings I was dealing with, I believe this blog sometimes served as a life boat for me. When I felt helpless, hurt, angry, alone, confused and exhausted, I would turn to my blog and just write letting it all out. I immediately felt better emotionally, but I also felt mentally centered, if that makes sense.

It was also my hope, I would be able to reach out to those who may be feeling some of the same feelings I was dealing with. If I could help just one person know she/he was not alone . . . as I often felt, I knew it would be worth opening myself up this way. By the way, opening up, being so exposed, is not easy for me.

I wanted to find when and where I lost the woman I once was. The woman I loved. The one I had self confidence in. The woman I was before the end of my husband of 20 years walked out on me and our three kids deciding he “no longer wanted to be married”. I wanted to find the woman I knew was still somewhere deep inside of the woman I had become. I’m not proud of that woman. She was bitter, in so much pain, each day was a struggle, and she had given up on love completely. Hence the name of this blog. How I Ended Up This Way. It didn’t happen overnight and wouldn’t be fixed overnight. However, I knew it was within me to dig deep and rediscover the woman who believed in love and saw the world as a place to enjoy and experience life instead of something I would have to endure day after day.

As it turned out, from the very first blog post… I received so many stories from my readers saying “I’m in tears… this could have been written about me” or “I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I truly felt alone in the world”. Hearing these words, my pain fell to the wayside. I had a new mission. It was to do whatever I could, using my experiences, to reach out to help these lovely people not feel so alone.

Once my mission became clear, I was like falling back into my old self. By telling my story and some wacky stories along the way, I found the woman I had been searching for all along. To my readers and those who shared your stories via comments … I am so grateful to you.

As I make my way through the next chapter of my life, I hope you will continue to read my blogs and take this journey with me wherever it may lead me. We’ll share some laughs, maybe a few tears, but definitely encouragement that you are not alone in this!

Be sure to follow my facebook facebook.com/writerajcarroll (and like my Author page for updates on my novel Rightfully Mine)

And twitter: http://www.Twitter.com/WriterAJCarroll

Until next time…
AJ



I apologize this blog is a bit late. Long story short . . . multiple computer issues. However, finally I can give this to you! I hope you enjoy!

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When it comes to my writing, I’m pretty laid back. However, you either get my humor or you don’t. Most of my blog posts basically consist of whatever crazy idea which happens to be on my mind on any particular day. My blogs are random, at times serious but more often the topic is something so ridiculous silly and off the wall. Those are the ones I hear this comment most: “I can’t believe you wrote that!! But somehow, it makes so much sense!” Remember the “arm pit hair blog?” Yea, that was a golden one!

Typically, an idea pops into my mind, I’ve made my notes, written and posted it within a 24 hour period. This is not one of them. I’m a bit of a history buff not to mention I know a freakishly amount of meaningless trivia, so fact checking is usually not a detail ordeal. I usually know enough about history to get by with the very least amount of research possible to ensure my facts are correct.

However, research has not been the issue with this one. The issue, you ask? How do I honor this man sufficiently? I’ve been actively preparing for this blog, day in and day out, for over two months now. Somehow, I always fall short. Am I stressed? Yes. Am I exhausted? Yep. Am I honored? Absolutely!

One year ago, last month, God called another angel home. George Jones went to receive his reward. It was the very same month, fifteen years ago, that his long time singing partner, ex wife and mom to beautiful Georgette Jones, Tammy Wynette was called home.

I cannot remember a time when I didn’t know who George was, even when I didn’t understand what he meant in some of his songs. “The Corvette Song” anyone?. My dad raised me on George and Tammy.

I have tweeted, posted, texted, private messaged and spoken with every possible one I could and asked “what’s your favorite George Jones song?” It wasn’t as if I was taking a poll. I simply have a HARD time choosing MY favorite song! There are so many I love. Just when I’d say “Whose Gonna Fill Their Shoes?” I say (yes to myself… don’t judge.. ) “No, The Race is on”. Repeat that about a thousand times with ALL his songs. I swear, I think I just might know every song word by word without hearing it for years. Kind of freaks my kids out. I’ll be writing or watching tv with the music on.. they’ll walk in…starting talking .. I’ll reply…George comes up…dead middle sentence I’m compelled to sing. Oh, and by the way, you know that bucket? The one you can’t carry a tune in? Yea, write my name on the side in John Deere Green. Yes, I am aware Joe Diffe sings the song. I’m trying to make a point here.

I have often said, “music heals.” I know this to be true. Tammy’s Til I Can Make It On My Own got me through my divorce.

[youtube.com/watch?v=BvA0OUD4Y9E]

It absolutely does not matter what song, George sings. His voice is like salve to my heart. For those of us musically challenged, any singer who can actually sing well keeps us in awe. George kept us entranced. This mix is only a few of my favorite Jones songs.

[youtube.com/watch?v=pE1QYlATnGo&#038]

George and Tammy made us feel as if we knew them personally. With the end of April, Mother’s Day behind up and as Father’s Day approaches, I think about Georgette. As difficult as this time of the year is for her, she continues to open up and share parts of this beloved pair with us. Simply because she is proud and she knows they have helped us through their music.

I see fans posting to Georgette things such as “you sound just like your dad” or “you sound just like your mom’. Personally, I don’t believe she sounds “just like” either parent. She has her own distinct sound. It is a mixture between her parents sound but completely her own. In her music we find the same healing, comfort, down to earth warmth that made us fall in love with George and Tammy. We are finding ourselves fast falling in love with her by her own merit. Just as I picture George and Tammy would have wanted.

[youtube.com/watch?v=ICdDGZphspA]

Georgette, to you, I want to say how very special your parents and the music were and continue to be in my life. I humbly thank you for continuing to share and give us a glimpse into your life. Whether you know it or not, you are allowing us to heal, enjoy and sometimes be sad with you. They will forever be missed.

Collage 2014-05-16 18_07_27

Until next time . . . Peace

AJ



{January 23, 2012}   Ode To Marina

January 23, 2011

Ode to Marina

Hi everyone, welcome! Weird title for a blog, huh? I mean, who the heck is Marina and why am I of all people writing an “ode” to her. I know how you think. Well, Marina is a good friend of mine. Duh, obviously, right? Seriously, please remember I am a blonde.

Well, I feel pretty bad. I made a promise to Marina and have yet to come through for her. See, I promised her a special blog post two days ago naming the first ever “A.J.’s  Blog Awards”. Little did I know how hard it would be to find the right words when trying to honor someone you respect, especially when your friends are involved. No, it’s not hard; it’s freakin’ hard!

And what can I say? I know Marina wakes up each and every day for the sole enjoyment of reading my blog. I mean, I know, she loves her kids. I know she loves her husband. And I know she loves to curse. REALLY loves to curse. But my blog, she completely suffers anxiety when I don’t post regularly.

So Marina, my dear friend, here is your daily blog. Completely in honor of you! Now, of course, you know I’m just having some laughs, Marina has many blogs she loves to read. As a matter of fact, it takes her complete work day just to get through them all! All that reading plus writing her own blog, it’s no wonder she wants her blogs ASAP.

You have to love a dedicated reader!!

HUGS TO YOU MARINA!!!

PS. You’ll have your “Award Blog” tomorrow, I promise.

Check out Marina’s blog at : http://MarinaSleeps.wordpress.com

Until next time . . . PEACE

AJ



{June 20, 2011}   My Dog Is The Best Dog Ever

Hi all! Welcome.

As the title of this blog states, my dog, Ryoki, is the best and greatest dog EVER! Actually, she’s more of my dad’s dog. But I claim her as mine now.

And I’m going to tell you why. I think you’ll agree she is really something special.

Ryoki

The other night, I was going through some of my boxes. I moved into an add-on at my parents home last year to try to get back on my feet and get some other things in order. The longer I stay here, the more I think about what’s in those boxes and how tired I am of the items. So, every now and then, I’ll go through them and give some things away. I just gave all my plates to my niece. I picked out some pots for her and some silver wear for my mom along with just taking some
of my baking items out for use. By the way mom, the baking items are still mine
. . . but you can use. I love to bake.

 Anyway, I was taking some things inside the house. As usual, I had overloaded my arms and had no possible way to open the screen door. My mom’s screen door handle is broken, so it doesn’t “catch”. This is great for Ryoki because when she has to go out, she pushes the screen door ever so slightly and goes out. She hasn’t mastered knocking the door hard enough for it to bounce open wide enough so she can stick her head in to get back in . . . but she does knock when she wants back in.

Now, in the past, I have mentioned how she is the “favored sister”. And in truth, she really is. But I don’t mind, especially after what she did the other night.

There I stood outside the door, my arms so full I couldn’t even use my elbow to nudge the screen door open, saying “Someone please get the door”. I was nice at first. After all, there were five
people in the house; my three kids, their dad and both my parents, just feet away from the door. No one came to my assistance. However, I did see Ryoki standing inside the door. Again, and a little louder, I said “Can someone get the door???” Apparently, they were too busy to be bothered. Again, I see pretty little Miss Ryoki standing by the screen door. But wait, she was coming my way. Gently, she edged the door open and backed up. Dang dog. Was she teasing me? She already poops right outside my door (my door leads directly outside; she doesn’t poop in the
house). Great. Now, she’s found a new way to diss me. Which, I let her know I didn’t appreciate.

She then pushed the screen door open a little farther. Holy cow, I thought. Was she trying to open the door for me? I didn’t catch the open part quickly enough with my shoulder. So, testing the waters, I said “One more time Ryoki, I couldn’t get that one.” All the while five people were standing in the dining room; only a few feet into the house.

And, I’ll be damned. Ryoki not only opens the door, she opens it a bit wider and holds it until I catch it with my shoulder! I couldn’t believe it! I figured she was going to come outside and
that was her ultimate reason for opening the door. Yet as I nudged the screen door open, and took the one step up that led me into the house, she backs up, looks up at me wagging her tail and I swear people, she was smiling! She knew exactly what she was doing! Very impressive Ryoki!

I went around to every person in the house and bragged on her, considering they were content to ignore my pleas for someone to open the door, I felt I was justified.

As I relayed the story to my mom asked me “did she go on outside?” I proudly informed her, “No, she simply opened the door for me. Once she saw I had the door and was coming in, she backed up for me.”

How freakin’ genius is my dog?! And I thought she didn’t even like me, considering you know, the pooping outside my door and all. I think I can truly say she is my sister now with pride . . . after all, she still is a dog.

Until
next time . . .

  A.J.



{February 21, 2011}   My Daughter Out Ranks Me

Most of my readers are aware I am in the process of completing a book called “Confessions 2 AJ”. Several of you have participated, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It will not be long before I have enough material to submit the manuscript for publication!

If you have already submitted a “confession” please, feel free to submit as many as you like! The more, the better the book will be.

For those of you that have chosen not to participate at this time, you still have time to change your minds! As I have promised you before, all names will be held under privacy protection. As a matter of fact, I will not be publishing names; even when asked to do so. And, I have been asked to include names by some people for their confession.

Anyway, my 14 year old daughter. . . where do I start? Although, she has her own way of doing things, she is sort of a mini me. She looks like me. Especially, when she was small.  She is athletic just as I was growing up (and still am). Even down to the way she runs; just like I did. My mom once asked me, when I was young, “why do you run like that?” Not sure what she meant by that, but I’m sure it was not a compliment. She likes most of the same . . . well, she loves Christian Kane. Need I say more?

My daughter approx. 3 yrs old

Me approx. 2 1/2 yrs old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to say, publically, to her: thank you for being my biggest supporter! I love you dearly and I am so thankful you find humor in your mom’s oh so warped mind!

Now down to business. My daughter is so very talented. She also writes. She is much more talented than I am because not only does she write stories, she has the ability to write poems, songs, even rap songs. Some  of her work, I have posted early in my blogs. The first one I posted, she wrote at age eleven. You should check it out, very poignant. It’s called “The Unknown” posted on July 22, 2010.

She is writing a book. Did I say she was 14?! There is a site for teens where they can go and share their stories with other teens. And yes, I read them as well; I keep a tight reign on what sites they visit.  

I am 40 years old. I have some fans/friends. I hate saying “I have fans…” It sounds arrogant to me. But, my daughter has fans. WHAT? Yep, you heard, well, read me right. She has fans. Fans that ask her to read their work and give feedback. Fans that say, “When are you posting another chapter?” She will post at least one chapter at a time. They tell her how much they love “so and so” and how they can’t wait to see if “so and so” will get together with “whoever”. They have actually fallen in love with her story and the characters she has invented. How cool is that!

I knew she was talented and had the ability to be a great writer. What I didn’t fully understand, is she would be implementing that ability this early in her life. I am extremely proud of her and would be, no matter what she chose to do. However, it is incredibly amazing to see her realize this particular talent and actually chose to use it. Can you imagine what she will be able to accomplish? And so much earlier than I have or will. As wonderful as all this is I must admit I will forever see her as the wonderful happy baby shown below. Always the peace maker, she was.

 

I fully expect to, one day, be out ranked by her in the writing world. And you know what? I am just fine with that.

Until next time……Peace

AJ



et cetera