How I Ended Up This Way's Blog











{October 14, 2014}   The Next Chapter

Hi everyone! Thank you for visiting my blog. My name is AJ. I originally began writing this blog in an attempt to work through some personal issues deriving from my divorce some five years prior. Not only did this blog provide a safe place for me to put words to the feelings I was dealing with, I believe this blog sometimes served as a life boat for me. When I felt helpless, hurt, angry, alone, confused and exhausted, I would turn to my blog and just write letting it all out. I immediately felt better emotionally, but I also felt mentally centered, if that makes sense.

It was also my hope, I would be able to reach out to those who may be feeling some of the same feelings I was dealing with. If I could help just one person know she/he was not alone . . . as I often felt, I knew it would be worth opening myself up this way. By the way, opening up, being so exposed, is not easy for me.

I wanted to find when and where I lost the woman I once was. The woman I loved. The one I had self confidence in. The woman I was before the end of my husband of 20 years walked out on me and our three kids deciding he “no longer wanted to be married”. I wanted to find the woman I knew was still somewhere deep inside of the woman I had become. I’m not proud of that woman. She was bitter, in so much pain, each day was a struggle, and she had given up on love completely. Hence the name of this blog. How I Ended Up This Way. It didn’t happen overnight and wouldn’t be fixed overnight. However, I knew it was within me to dig deep and rediscover the woman who believed in love and saw the world as a place to enjoy and experience life instead of something I would have to endure day after day.

As it turned out, from the very first blog post… I received so many stories from my readers saying “I’m in tears… this could have been written about me” or “I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I truly felt alone in the world”. Hearing these words, my pain fell to the wayside. I had a new mission. It was to do whatever I could, using my experiences, to reach out to help these lovely people not feel so alone.

Once my mission became clear, I was like falling back into my old self. By telling my story and some wacky stories along the way, I found the woman I had been searching for all along. To my readers and those who shared your stories via comments … I am so grateful to you.

As I make my way through the next chapter of my life, I hope you will continue to read my blogs and take this journey with me wherever it may lead me. We’ll share some laughs, maybe a few tears, but definitely encouragement that you are not alone in this!

Be sure to follow my facebook facebook.com/writerajcarroll (and like my Author page for updates on my novel Rightfully Mine)

And twitter: http://www.Twitter.com/WriterAJCarroll

Until next time…
AJ



{June 20, 2011}   My Dog Is The Best Dog Ever

Hi all! Welcome.

As the title of this blog states, my dog, Ryoki, is the best and greatest dog EVER! Actually, she’s more of my dad’s dog. But I claim her as mine now.

And I’m going to tell you why. I think you’ll agree she is really something special.

Ryoki

The other night, I was going through some of my boxes. I moved into an add-on at my parents home last year to try to get back on my feet and get some other things in order. The longer I stay here, the more I think about what’s in those boxes and how tired I am of the items. So, every now and then, I’ll go through them and give some things away. I just gave all my plates to my niece. I picked out some pots for her and some silver wear for my mom along with just taking some
of my baking items out for use. By the way mom, the baking items are still mine
. . . but you can use. I love to bake.

 Anyway, I was taking some things inside the house. As usual, I had overloaded my arms and had no possible way to open the screen door. My mom’s screen door handle is broken, so it doesn’t “catch”. This is great for Ryoki because when she has to go out, she pushes the screen door ever so slightly and goes out. She hasn’t mastered knocking the door hard enough for it to bounce open wide enough so she can stick her head in to get back in . . . but she does knock when she wants back in.

Now, in the past, I have mentioned how she is the “favored sister”. And in truth, she really is. But I don’t mind, especially after what she did the other night.

There I stood outside the door, my arms so full I couldn’t even use my elbow to nudge the screen door open, saying “Someone please get the door”. I was nice at first. After all, there were five
people in the house; my three kids, their dad and both my parents, just feet away from the door. No one came to my assistance. However, I did see Ryoki standing inside the door. Again, and a little louder, I said “Can someone get the door???” Apparently, they were too busy to be bothered. Again, I see pretty little Miss Ryoki standing by the screen door. But wait, she was coming my way. Gently, she edged the door open and backed up. Dang dog. Was she teasing me? She already poops right outside my door (my door leads directly outside; she doesn’t poop in the
house). Great. Now, she’s found a new way to diss me. Which, I let her know I didn’t appreciate.

She then pushed the screen door open a little farther. Holy cow, I thought. Was she trying to open the door for me? I didn’t catch the open part quickly enough with my shoulder. So, testing the waters, I said “One more time Ryoki, I couldn’t get that one.” All the while five people were standing in the dining room; only a few feet into the house.

And, I’ll be damned. Ryoki not only opens the door, she opens it a bit wider and holds it until I catch it with my shoulder! I couldn’t believe it! I figured she was going to come outside and
that was her ultimate reason for opening the door. Yet as I nudged the screen door open, and took the one step up that led me into the house, she backs up, looks up at me wagging her tail and I swear people, she was smiling! She knew exactly what she was doing! Very impressive Ryoki!

I went around to every person in the house and bragged on her, considering they were content to ignore my pleas for someone to open the door, I felt I was justified.

As I relayed the story to my mom asked me “did she go on outside?” I proudly informed her, “No, she simply opened the door for me. Once she saw I had the door and was coming in, she backed up for me.”

How freakin’ genius is my dog?! And I thought she didn’t even like me, considering you know, the pooping outside my door and all. I think I can truly say she is my sister now with pride . . . after all, she still is a dog.

Until
next time . . .

  A.J.



{January 28, 2011}   The Best Book Ever Written

Hi everyone! Welcome Back!

I want to tell you about an amazing book; a series of books actually. I have owned several of them and I’ve read them more that once. My daughter even loves reading them, so you know it has to be good, right?

Pride and Prejudice is my favorite movie. I’ve read the book. You might be thinking “well, then, it must be Pride and Prejudice or another one of Jane Austen’s books. Jane Austen is amazing.

I’m so sorry to disappoint, but you know my humor is really off, and the simple things amuse me for hours . . . kind of like a dog with a ball.

So, what is this work of masterpiece? So great it beats out all the current authors as well as Jane Austen. Well, your wait is over… but please finish reading the blog before you run out and pick up the latest copy.

Uncle Tom’s Bathroom Reader; awesome read! Now wait, there is no reason to laugh! That’s not Christian! Give it chance before you knock it. You just might like it. The books are basically Trivia. Most of it is true trivia from history or trivia about people and or events. They have numerous books on varying topics some include sports, pop culture, even books especially for kids.

http://bathroomreader.com/throne-room/

And even though the title says “Bathroom Reader” they won’t revoke your reading privileges if you remove it from the bathroom and, you know, read it somewhere else in the house. Just wash your hands first!

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



{January 26, 2011}   Finally…I Got Noticed!!

Hello everyone!

All of us want to get recognition at some point in our life. Whether it is during your childhood or maybe you played on your high school basketball team, it is probable to say part of you wanted some recognition for your ability.

I was no different. Well, up until high school, I just wanted to get through the day. Although I had played basketball since the second grade (they started us very early in the small town of Newark, Arkansas) it wasn’t until my high school years that I became comfortable being in front of the crowd that would gather to watch us play. I finally learned to actually forget that the crowd was even there and just do what I loved to do. Play basketball. Being five foot two, I constantly had to prove myself and my ability to rock the court. This was fine with me. I played point guard and it never failed when playing a new team, who ever was guarding me would cover me from about 5 to 7 feet back. I mean it was clear what they were thinking, “what’s this little thing going to do? She may be fast but she’s just a ball handler. Cover the tall girl; don’t let shorty get the ball to her.”

 

This mentality really was ok with me. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed it. I probably enjoyed it a little too much. To be 100% honest with you, I loved it. I know you’re on the edge of your seat wondering why, right? No worries, I am going to tell you. I love it because I always knew exactly how this would end. I had been through the same situation many times. Once we got the ball, whether it was a rush back to our end or as more commonly, at a slower pace as it was the beginning of the game, I’d call the play (I was also team captain my Senior year) let my team set up, then just as soon as everyone was in position and girl was 5 plus feet off me, I’d let it go . . . 3pts, bam! Needless to say, next time down the court, not only was girl basically on top of me, I could actually hear her couch yelling at her to “get on her!” Ah, but I loved that sound. Do you hear that? Is that the sound of all the short people going “whoop, whoop” I hear?

So, what is this all about? I loved that notice I received as a ball player. Now, I am experiencing the same thrill as I did back then. Yesterday, I ran across something that made me feel like I was set to take that 3 point shot, and yes, I held no doubt I would make the shot. If I can confidently say, without a doubt, it’s that I can play basketball. I have worked hard my entire life for the privilege to be able to say this. Even in my writing, I am confident, yet not as confident as I am on the court.

On October 11, 2010, I reached a new milestone. One of my blogs was published in the online magazine “The Writer’s Daily” ran my Carrie White. I had been in the Daily before, but only in the “tweet” capacity. In other words, when I would tweet something I saw in the news or the like, it would be placed in the Daily. So, I really didn’t count those as they were not my words. Don’t get me wrong, I am still honored to be mentioned in the Daily. Here is the link http://paper.li/minskinnywin/writers-authors

When I saw my blog in the Daily on October 11, I was excited, in a state of disbelief that I was actually getting some notice, and very proud yet probably not for the reasons you may be thinking. I was so proud because this particular piece of work was very close to my heart. It was in celebration of my late brother’s birthday. If you go back on that date on my blog, you can read the blog I wrote in celebration for my brother, my protector, my best friend.

However, today, another huge milestone in my writing career happened! And I want to share every step of my journey with you all. You have all been so supportive!

Just by chance, I stumbled crossed something that completely stopped me in my tracks. It was a website, completely unknown to me. Guys, right there, under their “links” on their page was my blog link! Someone, unbeknownst to me, somehow found out about my blog and actually liked it enough to put it in there rotating line up of links! This is a huge step for me as a writer! And I so happy I am able to share this with you. You feel as part of my family. Some of you are my family. Here is the link http://enthiburan.co.cc/ . You may have to check it a few times as it is a rotating link.

A few other things happened this week that is quite amazing. First, I was asked… actually asked by a musician to write a review of his music. How cool is that! This review is a huge step because it introduces me to the music industry! I am just beside myself. I’m still a bit shell shocked.

Oh, and I can not forget the attention from Edward Burns. A genus in the Independent Film industry! Here’s hoping for a movie! Of course, you understand if Ed wants to do a screen play of my crazy life, the 3 books I have lined up after “Confessions” may have to wait a while. I mean really, do you honestly think I’d put Ed off? Pff…not gonna happen!

I know, wow. What else can I say? I’m a bit speechless! Yea, me!

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



{November 30, 2010}   Confessions

Hello everyone!

What should I blog about this morning? The beauty that is the Fall season? The debate over global warming? What? No? You have been waiting on something else? Oh yes, I promised you something today, didn’t I? The launch date of my new website!

The website is going great. The tentative launch date if this Friday!!! All is on schedule, so . . .  cross your fingers, knock on wood, or say 3 hail Mary’s . . . whatever you do to stop a jinx!

The first thing I am putting into motion, is for a book to be launched at a later date, as it involves other’s input. You may have already heard. I am writing a book called “Confessions to AJ”.

That’s right. You can confess anything you want, no matter how little or how big, and you can be in the book.

Now, I assure you, on my reputation as a writer and more importantly, as a person  of integrity, you will remain anonymous. As a matter of fact, I will even put my own confession in the book!

To get involved, you may request to be my friend on Twitter at “Confessions2AJ”. I will then befriend you and you may DM me anything you like.  No names or other info will be released with the book, or anyplace else for that matter. While you are in Twitter, send me a follow on my personal twitter page, asjbraves.

You may also send me an unsigned postcard, letter, or to note to the website’s mailing address: A.J.Carroll PO Box 462, Callahan, FL 32011.

If this whole process makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s ok. You don’t have to participate. But, I’m hoping you will J

Until next time……Peace

A.J.



et cetera